If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon Itβll just be water under the fridge.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.
I would have preferred a handshake, though.
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?
So he could try to get a foot in the door
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 28 2020
nostalga kicks in
π︎ 3k
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︎ Aug 01 2019
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
π︎ 1k
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︎ Nov 25 2019
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 01 2019
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 23 2018
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.
That was when I put my foot down!
π︎ 275
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︎ Jan 03 2020
Found this while looking through Pumped Up Kicks comments
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Check out my raw kicks
π︎ 4k
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︎ Nov 25 2018
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked βWhat the hell are you doing?β
He said, βLike everyone else, Iβm working from home.β
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
How did the deaf guy finally kick the bucket?
You see, he had hearing AIDS
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.
More on this after the break.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick peopleβs ass worldwide.
Should call it, Kung Flu.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 26 2020
When do the Coronavirus symptoms kick in ?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 08 2020
Punt or kick the field goal?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
I had to kick a friend out of my house party.
He was pissing off the front porch
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 11 2019
I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Excuse me while I kick this guy!
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 19 2018
Took this a couple minutes ago, i have to say the kicks are FIRE
π︎ 4
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︎ May 13 2019
What does the furniture say when you kick it?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees
π︎ 39
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︎ Feb 01 2019
(The characters name is kicks.)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
I get a kick out of scaring horses.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
Flea kick
π︎ 143
π
︎ May 17 2016
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks...
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 14 2017
Coworker said, "if you do that again, I'll kick you in the shin."
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"...why?"
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 05 2014
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 12 2018
I donβt understand why malls donβt kick out mall walkers
It just seems like loitering with extra steps
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 09 2019
I found a man living in the edge of my roof, and I didn't kick him out
I let him do as he soffit
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 04 2018
As a pregnant woman, I find it hard to describe the almost magical feeling of what it's like when the baby kicks.
It's almost like an in the body experience
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 07 2018
After Lucifer betrayed God, how did God kick him out of heaven?
"get the hell outta here"
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 16 2018
I'll never forget the last words my dad said before he kicked the bucket..."son, look how far i can kick this bucket"
π︎ 20
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︎ Dec 16 2017
I just saw a burglar kick his own door in...
Me: "What are you doing?"
Burglar: "Working from home."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...
More on this after the break.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
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