what do you call a reptile with a stock portfolio? an invested-gator

or when he shows up immediately? an insta-gator

and if he's well-dressed? and in-vest-gator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/storm-the-castle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I invested in a fertility clinic....

Heard the business was expanding

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegoBSpace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Jay-Z has invested in a digital security company.

He's got ninety-nine problems but a breach ain't one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdofras
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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I invested in a bank that gave 0% interest.

It made no cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Send666Nudes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the chef who invested in stocks?

He became a bouillon-naire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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I invested in a business idea with some dermatologists.

I was glad they had some skin in the game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soccerbenny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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I recently invested in bouillon cubes.

My assets aren’t liquid, but they can be.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ibided
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a Chinese cookie factory.

I’m going to make a fortune!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I invested every cent I have in a cannabis-fed cattle business.

The steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArmyofNorthernVA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm not very invested.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdnewlun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I invested all of my money in cannabis infused beef. I know . . it’s a risky decision.

The steaks are high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I invested all my money in a whipped cream factory.

People told me not to. They said that it's a huge whisk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle invested in a company that made the Enter-key for computer keyboards...

He made a fortune in Returns...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I invested heavily in toilet paper.

I hope I don't get wiped out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A boy asked his dad who invested in bitcoin for β€œ$10 worth of bitcoin”

He said β€œ$9.67 what do you need $10.47 for”

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πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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A friend of mine with no hair invested in bitcoin yesterday.

I said to him that's a bald move ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aceman2221
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I invested my child’s savings into coffee

It’s a hot commodity right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I have felt heavily invested in my wife’s pregnancy ever since she first told me.

After all, I provided the seed money.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pikkel_Greenbeard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm still quite invested

I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests so I put one on just so i could say "vest day ever" like a million times. Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasn't as invested as they were.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdnewlun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I invested my life savings into buying horses

its always good to invest in a stable market.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamwiseDehBrave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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