Industrially Puns

I relish the opportunity.

Well… I guess that’s it. I’ve completed my bucket list.

Dust

Doctors report no end in sight

It's their Pay as Yu-Gi-Oh plan.

To make a difference, sir!

Cash cows and piggy banks.

Because only you can prevent Florist Friars

Because of his self-righteous soup-n-sides

Receding airlines.

The key is to apply every day.

At Home Depot buying Sod.

College age Cashier- ok sir, total is $205.42

Me- wow I haven’t spent that much on grass since college….

Cashier- blank face

Can’t win’em all I guess.

here's one i've been working on.

ok so there's this trade publication for the hospitality industry.

it comes out once a quarter, but just now they're doing their annual "best hotel" awards

and there's a prize for best overall, and, you know, the hilton group wins every year...

but there are also categories for boutique hotels, budget, airbnbs, etc etc

and then there's a "fun" category called "best hotel for nonhuman guests"

and loads of luxury pet care places are entering in, overpriced kennels basically, taking it really seriously...

but also ppl are sending pictures of insect hotels they've built with their kids in their back yards and stuff, it's a bit of fun.

and then this one person sends in an entry, which they say is "an overnight guesthouse for footwear"

...

and one of the judges turns to the other and says "right, this one's definitely going to win it"

the other judge says "why?"

...

...

... ...

"it's a shoe inn."

thankyouthankyou.

Even planes get high on it.

We asked how he got into that field, and he said he was kinda born into it. So we threw him a supplies birthday party.

Ex-berry-ments

Known for their diamond and sterling jewellery as well as being one of Holly Golightly's favourite haunts, Tiffany and Co. announced their foray into the epipen industry earlier today with the launch of the very first premium epipen by Tiffany, the Epiphany.

I said, "it has its ups and downs."

Wife: He's always making really bad puns

Husband: She's just mad because I tried investing in the Egyptian tourism industry.. until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme

It's difficult to make it in a mail dominated industry.

Police are still trying to al dentefy the victim.

You may get in trouble for serving miners

They banned all the minors from working!

Apparently, he'd heard there's a huge demand in Anime for fan service.

It was a disaster...

Dis-assed-her

They call him the Sysco Kid

...the best advice I can give is to apply daily.

Me: It's an olfactory response.

He was always getting hung up on little things, and telling me that our days were numbered. I've turned the page.

I hear he's dating someone now though.

Because they are always dropping the bass.

Tomorrow they will give a special press release.

"I worked at a factory that made women's undergarments, and i stood at the end of the line. Every time a pair came down, id put them on my head and say dees'l fit'r."

Husband to wife: "No weigh!"

If everyone dressed up as ghosts, it'd be boo-jitsu!

If they served coffee, it'd be brew-jitsu!

If they wrestled cows, it'd be moo-jitsu!

If everyone celebrated each move, it'd be WOO!-jitsu!

If they only used chokeholds, it'd be blue-jitsu!

If they grappled inside old industrial chimneys, it'd be flue-jitsu!

If they wrestled pigeons, it'd be coo-jitsu!

If you ate too much Taco Bell before your match, it'd be poo-jitsu!

And then no one would want to pair up with you, so it'd be just you-jitsu!

I've been torturing my kid with these all night. :D

There is always 'dust' in the middle of industry

He says it's Fantastic

They must have destroyed my old factory senses.

Umbrella Manufacturing.

Courtesy of r/AskReddit

I told them I always wanted to work for the fashion industry.

until I got fired for barking up the wrong tree.

Needless to say, I seaweed everyday

Really hope it pans out for me.

Tomorrow they will give a special press conference

Me: It's an olfactory response.

...the best advice I can give is apply daily.