How do you make an hourglass you faster?

You fill it with quicksand.

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👤︎ u/Chaisz3r0
📅︎ Feb 15 2020
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Son, stay away from girls with an hourglass figure ...

They're a complete waist of time

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👤︎ u/BadPuppyZA
📅︎ Jul 19 2019
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I found an hourglass in Scotland.

Now I'm just wondering - where'd my Glasgow?

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📅︎ Oct 19 2019
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For Halloween this boy showed up at my door with an hourglass.

He said, "Trickle treat!"

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 18 2018
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When I die, I want to be cremated and put into an hourglass...

So I can continue to spend time with my family

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👤︎ u/Nathamatics
📅︎ Mar 20 2017
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A grinder for spice shaped like an hourglass

So when it's low, you're running out of thyme.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/Whispers666
📅︎ Apr 12 2013
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I started a job watching hourglasses just to check if the correct amount of time was passing for them.

But recently I’ve been bringing in model airplanes so I can make the hourglasses passengers and watch time fly.

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👤︎ u/jlionbad
📅︎ Sep 05 2020
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burned
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/bitchyswiftie
📅︎ Jul 12 2020
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How do communists tell time?

An hourglass.

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👤︎ u/Ash_con
📅︎ Aug 14 2020
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A woman tried to tie a watch around her stomach...

It was a waist of time.

👍︎ 174
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👤︎ u/Aftermath16
📅︎ Jun 02 2017
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Dad joked during dinner.

So yesterday My father, Little brother, and I were all eating dinner. We were having random sausages that I cooked up.

Dad: Coughs

Me: "You okay?"

Dad: "I'm fine it's just a little hot."

Me: "Yeah, hot links and flaming hot Cheetos will do that to you."

Dad: "And a hot soda."

Me: "Dad that soda isn't anywhere close to being hot."

Dad: Bends can to give it an hourglass shape "There, now its hot."

Me and Little Brother: heavy sighs

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👤︎ u/Gothic_Panda
📅︎ Oct 17 2015
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