How do you make an hourglass you faster?

You fill it with quicksand.

👍︎ 21
👤︎ u/Chaisz3r0
📅︎ Feb 15
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I found an hourglass in Scotland.

Now I'm just wondering - where'd my Glasgow?

👍︎ 4
📅︎ Oct 19 2019
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Son, stay away from girls with an hourglass figure ...

They're a complete waist of time

👍︎ 119
👤︎ u/BadPuppyZA
📅︎ Jul 19 2019
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For Halloween this boy showed up at my door with an hourglass.

He said, "Trickle treat!"

👍︎ 6
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 18 2018
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When I die, I want to be cremated and put into an hourglass...

So I can continue to spend time with my family

👍︎ 78
📅︎ Mar 20 2017
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A grinder for spice shaped like an hourglass

So when it's low, you're running out of thyme.

👍︎ 30
📅︎ Apr 12 2013
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A woman tried to tie a watch around her stomach...

It was a waist of time.

👍︎ 174
📅︎ Jun 02 2017
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Dad joked during dinner.

So yesterday My father, Little brother, and I were all eating dinner. We were having random sausages that I cooked up.

Dad: Coughs

Me: "You okay?"

Dad: "I'm fine it's just a little hot."

Me: "Yeah, hot links and flaming hot Cheetos will do that to you."

Dad: "And a hot soda."

Me: "Dad that soda isn't anywhere close to being hot."

Dad: Bends can to give it an hourglass shape "There, now its hot."

Me and Little Brother: heavy sighs

👍︎ 7
📅︎ Oct 17 2015
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