Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?

He was a rebel without a Claus

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👤︎ u/Dinnen1
📅︎ May 14 2021
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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👤︎ u/rjsquirrel
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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My little brother just laid down a perfect dad joke..

My brother and I are watching Star Wars VI. The Rebel Alliance is talking about destroying the shields on the planet Endor. I turn to my brother and ask him, "Isn't Endor the planet with the forests and tall trees?". He grins, turns to me, and says, "No; that's Outdoor". I'm astounded a 12 year old could be so clever.

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📅︎ Dec 02 2013
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How does Luke skywalker make money?

He gets a rebel Allowance.

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📅︎ Jul 28 2018
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Grand dad joke.

My grandpa would always tell me this story about his uncles in WWII. "My uncle was actually captured by the Germans and kept in a pow camp. They would try to break the prisoners spirit by making them to mindless things. One in particular they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, 'tick tock tick tock.' My uncle was always a wise guy so he would rebel in the simplest way. He would only go, 'tick tick tick.' One day the guard finally caught him and said, 'don't vorry. Ve have vays of making you tock.'"

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👤︎ u/wolfdancer
📅︎ Dec 01 2013
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Jerry Lawler dropped this one

"Dean Ambrose never beleved in Santa as a child .. He was a rebel without a Claus"

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👤︎ u/Sledge824
📅︎ Dec 23 2015
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