Was Puns

Turns out it's a non-prophet organization

Because he lived in a pen!

So very proud!

I guess I have to keep holding it.

The decision was a piece of cake.

... and as you can see, they were Wright

“Because she has no taste.”

But when I got home all the signs were there

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

Is this a trick question?

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

It was a brief case.

He has selfie steam issues.

The mortician asked the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out the man looks good in the black suit he’s already wearing. The widow however said she thought her husband always looked his best in blue, and she would really like him in a blue suit. She then hands the mortician a blank cheque and says “I don’t care how much it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.” The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe. Remarkably, the suit fit him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “whatever this costs I’m very satisfied, you did an excellent job and I’m incredibly grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment the mortician presents her with her blank cheque, and he says “there’s no charge.” Shocked she replies “no really, I feel like i must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit.” “Honestly ma’am”, the mortician says, “it costs nothing, you see a diseased gentleman about your husbands size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday. He was wearing an attractive blue suit. So I asked his wife if she minded if her husband went to the grave wearing black. She had said it made no difference so long as he looked nice. So from that point on it was really just a matter of switching the heads.”

That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.

He said "Well, you should probably avoid those places in the future."

Now that’s just mean.

Solid, liquid and gas

Because he was 2 squared.

...an ether/oar situation...

It was quite the milestone

Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.

But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.

Then, I was born.

It was as big as the last two combined!

G. I. - G. I. Joe.

The paper was jamming.

All this time i thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Strange name, but she tortoise well .

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

It was open Mike night.

All his grades were below C level.

by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

Un-waffle activity

Because seven was a registered six offender.

But you didn't like it

All people ever talked about was getting a stable job...

I told the officer "Wait! I can explain everything!!"

I became an iWitness.

These were the most awkward 40 minutes of my life

He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.

Turns out its a non-prophet organization