A disgruntled employee of an axe throwing establishment was leaving one-star Yelp reviews
Apparently it was a real hatchet job
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside. I said Lukewarm.
I heard the catering on the Star Wars movies was exceptional. An admirable snackbar.
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
In honour of Star Wars day I was going to have Wooki steak tonight..
But I've heard it's a little chewy.
So I was singing All Star in the car the other day, and my friend asked “How do you know all the words” so I swiftly replied:
What was the smelly Star Wars droid called?
My friends star sign was cancer and it was quite ironic how he died really
He was attacked by a giant crab
Why was the Star Wars baseball team so bad?
Because they were all Wookies.
I went to Star Wars land last week and tried a wookiee cookie. It was pretty good...
Star Wars 7PM show last night, a dad behind me was saving four seats with his daughter...
...and every time someone approached him he repeated "these aren't the seats you're looking for."
I was watching star trek and they kept talking about freighter ships.
I would imagine the cost of shipping between planets must be astronomical.
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I said to myself,
“My roof has disappeared”
Why was the Death Star measured in miles?
Because they used Imperial units.
I wanted to see the new Star Wars movie today, but every showing was sold out
A man was out on a walk on a brisk night when he looked up to the stars and saw a flying saucer.
He couldn't believe his eyes. A real flying saucer! He wasn't sure if he should be afraid or excited so he found himself asking,"Are you a friend... or are UFO?"
My GF was worried about her Star Wars cosplay.
She wanted to go as the opening credits and start by painting it on her face.
Then she got discouraged, “I can’t just paint it all dark with words on it, that’s blackface!”
I told her, “No, that’s typeface.”
The "I am your father" part in Star Wars was really out of hand.
In Star Wars episode 3, when order 66 was given. All the Jedi were killed
I was able to see a distant star with my new glasses...
They put a twinkle in my eyes!
I was humming Smash Mouth's "All Star" and someone started to yell at me for getting that song stuck in their head.
All I could think to say was "Hey Now!"
When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
I just download a song that was rated 3.14 stars out of 5.
You can say that my phone has a Pi-rated song!
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
Took a girl on a late night walk last night and she was looking up at the stars
Her: “where’s Orion’s Belt?”
Me: “Around his waist”
Her: “fuck off”
Dad and I stopped in at a one-star hotel that happened to have a bar. I was about to buy us beers when he said...
"Don't get your hops up. This place doesn't even have a porter."
Just heard there was a fire on the Star Wars set
Two people have been treated for Snoke inhalation.
I was watching the new Star Wars with my girlfriend yesterday
It was my second time watching it and only her first, so I had had some time to ponder possible puns to make. So when BB8 was introduced, I put my arm around her, leaned in to her ear, and said "Hey baby, that robot is cool and all, but it's only a BB8. I think you're a BB10."
She sighed, pulled my arm off of her, and scooted a seat away from me.
The radio was on the classical station during a Star Trek binge.
I was just watching Star Wars episode 3 with some friends and got to this scene...
Padmé "hold me, Anakin. Like the way you used to on Naboo..."
Me (impersonating Anakin) "Nah boo, it ain't like dat"
I was watching the new Star Wars with my dad and he drops this one...
Leia says to Han, "Some things never change. You still drive me crazy."
And my dad turns to me with this stupid grin and says "It's pronounced the Millennium Falcon, not the 'me crazy'" And he just stared at me grinning while I cracked up in a crowded movie theater.
I entered a competition where first place was a trip to the moon, and second place you got a star named after you.
I lost and got the constellation prize.
My dad just sent me this. " Today's Windsor Star says that Wiz Khalifa was arrested for public urination behind a bar in the United States."
This Star Trek joke was thrown my way.
How many ears does Spock have?
Answer: 3, the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.
She asked how warm is it inside? I said Lukewarm.
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I said to myself,
“My roof has disappeared.”
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