Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
The doctor said he is alright. The nurses say there is nothing left in him.
It’s a period piece.
He's a small arms dealer.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My grandfather: That’s my hip replacement.
My thoughts are with his family.
… or do you also struggle with gnomenclature??
Mount Rushmore.
Bob
His real name is Keith, but he has an eye missing.
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
His pants fit like a glove.
But he hesitated
Police believe he is following some sort of pattern
I haven't touched it in years.
Curt and Rod
A Finnish Hymn
I was outraged.
He’s fully recovered now.
(Credit to Colin Mochrie)
Off-putting
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
He was... pungent.
Thank you I'll be here all week /bow
An ambulance.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
He just didn’t cut it.
She had an outstanding balance.
He’s all right now.
He caught hearing aids.
..and the 4th one ducks.
He said no, there’s no whey.
But the bar disallows dogs. The one guy says “watch this.” He approaches the bouncer and says with his leashed German Shepard “ this is my seeing eye dog.” He gets in. Second guy tries the same. “This is my seeing eye dog.” The bouncer says, “that’s no seeing eye dog, that’s a chihuahua!” To which the man replies “ they gave me a chihuahua!?!?!?!”
Next year is 2020 too.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Waterway to get stuck
You could say he was a kind of cold and calculating guy
Too bad he was a FUNGI
