Me: "I guess everyone's getting Z's"
"I have failed all of you as a teacher."
“I’ve come to relieve you of your duty”
Professor: Um, you know it’s May, right?
Student: Of course, so sorry! “May I do something to raise my grade?”
I don't get why teachers take a lot of time grading. Just go to an elementary school because they have a room of 30 second graders. They can literally get their grading done in under a minute!
They always give straight "eh"s.
Son: “They’re below C level”
I just heard about 20,000 leagues under the C!
They can’t think straight.
"Wire you insulate"
And he replied "Watts it to you? I'm Ohm ain't I?"
This is the first Dad joke I remember hearing, and it came from my older brother.
(We're not grading for quality here, right?)
Be Mine-us (B-)
“Oh, that’s awful. Who was that?”
“Miss Givings.”
I never thought trying to avoid cooties would be the most useful thing at this stage of my life.
There was a new girl from Kentucky in his class. He asked her "how's the fried chicken?". Long story short she gave him her phone number. I'm so proud and still laughing 😆
I said, "Kindergarten. "
Minnesota.
Yeah.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said “That’s good son, maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”
High C's
Not what you're thinking.
I guess I’m biode-grade-able
Straight Eh’s
Best three years of my life.
All his grades were below C level.
High C's.
but when I lose one of my three kids, everyone freaks out like I did something horrible. 😒
He was really good at taking notes
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
This was a problem on my step sons homework. No matter what, he couldn't seem to grasp it. So, I grabbed some post-it notes, turned it to a diamond and said "this is a diamond correct?" he says yes. I then turn the post-it notes a few degrees and say "this is a square correct?" And he instantly got what he had to do. I then threw out this, grade "A" knee slapper of a line "Diamonds are just crooked squares, you can't trust'em".
I think I'm gonna put on my jorts and tube socks now.
She hated the chews
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
Rolling back 40 yrs or so, here's the story I told to my 2nd grade class.
To catch an elephant, you first need to go to the jungle where elephants are found. Then you cut down all the trees in a big circle, and dig a hole out. Put the trees in the hole and burn them down to ashes. Carefully line the edge of the hole with peas.
And when an Elephant comes to take a Pea, you kick him in the Ash-Hole!
Everyone about died. Hell, even the teacher and principal were laughing about it. Dad was amused. Mom was not.
I can't wait to finally see 2020 tomorrow.
Somewhere in the high c's.
📷
son: underwater, dad
father: underwater? what do you mean?
son: they're below C level
