Hilarious Girl's Dorm Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCW. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed.... Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me.

I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...

So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.

She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."

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👤︎ u/izzy10200

📅︎ Dec 05 2019

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He doesn't often make dad jokes, but when he does...

My dad helping me (sheltered 17yr old girl) move into my dorm freshman year of college, when I discover a box of condoms he packed in with my office supplies.

Me: Dad, what's this doing here?

Dad: Better safe than sorry, I want you to keep them just in case.

Me: (laughing) don't worry Dad, boys have cooties.

Dad: (serious) I know. That's what the condoms are for.

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👤︎ u/ms-morbid

📅︎ Aug 28 2013

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