Ginger Up Puns

Over 2,000 gingers showed up and there wasn't a sole to be seen.

So a blonde, brunette, and a ginger are running from the cops, they run into a barn, the blonde hides behind a barrel, the brunette hides behind a horse, the ginger hides behind a cow, the cops show up and yell "come out we know you're in there!" The brunette says "neigh neigh," the ginger says "moo moo," the blonde says "barrel barrel."

It's a bit of a basic joke but it makes me chuckle so wanted to share it.😁👍

So, on Sunday my wife and I were making stir fry for lunch after church. I chopped up some flank steak and test fried a piece in the wok, pulled it out, cut it in two, and we each tried a piece to see how it tasted (in case it needed more ginger or garlic or oyster sauce). This conversation happened.

My wife: (enjoying the flavor) How do couples where one person is a vegetarian handle meals?

Me: I guess the man has a help meet for him like Adam.

Her: I'm being serious, how do they do it.

Me: I know, right? People get married for lots of carnal knowledge.

Her: (annoyed) All kidding aside, I'm curious how people make that work.

Me: Give me some time to flesh out my argument, and I'm sure I can find a couple that hasn't butchered their relationship.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me: Fire the capsicum! Deploy the celery team!

Her: Bring in the egg plant division to support the capsicum!

Me: This is it boys, life or dirt! I want a passionfruit unit to find us a vantage point, and the strawberry unit to surround them!

Her: We had better bring the lettuce up to date!

Me: The cabbage are under withering fire, we need support from the raspberry division! The potatoes are mashed, so well need to send the zucchini in their place!

Her: The zucchini can't take that heavy fire, they'll be grated. Send spinach for some extra iron. The sweet potatoes are digging in at the ridge.

Me: Prepare the watermelon bomb, we need to finish this! The eggplant were squashed, deploy the broccoli brigade! The beans need to get out of there, or they'll be split!

Her: Cauliflowers are going in to retrieve the beans. How brave to risk their florets!

The corn commandos are deployed, but the artichokes are all out of heart, we need to boost morale.

Me: The leeks are down! They'll be flattened if we don't do something!

Are the spinach still operational?

Her: Too bad the pepper isn't on our side, they're well seasoned troops.

Spinach is a go!
Nothing has touched it...

Me: But wait! We still have the chillies to give them heavy fire!

Her: And the squashes and peas!

Me: The ginger is holding it's ground, but it's being cut down by the pineapple!

The basil should make things interesting, send them to aid the potatoes.

**Her:

A girl walks up to me and asks: "Do you have any Ginger Ale?" Me: "Well we only have 1 red-headed friend with us, let me see if he brought any Ale." Girl stares at me blankly.

Got my wife with two the other day when we were grocery shopping.

She goes to get a ginger root from the produce section, and I yell at her

STOP!!

"...what?" she asks

I answer "You are doing it wrong, you have to pick it up carefully"

And i proceed to very slowly lift one ginger root out of the pile, being extra careful to support it.

"...what are you doing?" My wife is now very confused.

"You have to lift it......gingerly".

She hits me.

Not five minutes later, we are getting celery.

"I think this one looks familiar" I say

"What?" again, she falls into my trap

"Yeah....this one has been following me around, creepily, from a distance. It's a Celery Stalk(er)."

She hit me again.

I was asking my wife the ingredients to the chicken she made for dinner. She started listing ingredients "honey dijon mustard, soy sauce, tarragon, ginger, red pepper flakes.." I stopped her and asked "do we have any more tarragon?". Saddened, she replied "no I threw it all away." I then cracked a smirk knowing my set up worked completely as planned and said "so, now it's all... tarra-gone?" I burst into laughter. My wife said the only thing she ever says to me after I tell her one of my brilliant jokes.. "I hate you.".. brings joy to my heart every time I hear it.