"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took
What do you call a building full of guitarists?
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.
He’s listed in serious but stable condition.
At dinner tonight, my daughter told me she was full...
I told her she didn’t have to finish her dinner.
She replied, “No dad, my name is full!”
She’s learning!
What's the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?
I once went to the CNN broadcasting station. They had an aquarium full of rubber amphibians.
Just as I feared... fake newts everywhere!
Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?
It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.
What do you call a room full of ravens?
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
My friend from Prague came over to play D&D. Instead of just a face mask, he's wearing full body armor
The Czech is in the mail.
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
"Don't worry! It's just a phase it's going through!"
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
I dreamt last night I was swimming in an ocean full of orange soda. Then I woke up..
..and realized it was just a Fanta sea.
What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?
What do you call a tray full of tofu veggie rolls?
What happens to Werewolf's house when its the full moon?
It becomes a warehouse.
Credit to Haldzur, the newest dad in our party.
I like going out during a full moon...
...but my lycanthropy gives me pause.
Optimist: "That cup is half full."
Pessimist: "That cup is half empty."
Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"
I'm fat, because I'm full of experiences...
.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.
What country that is never full?
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
Life is full of complications....
Even when you're born, there is a string attached.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?
Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.
My day is full of conference calls, collaborations, and 1-on-1s. I wish they would all just go away...
...but then my life would be meetingless.
A van full of terrapins ran into a truck full of tortoises.
It was a near turtle disaster.
What do you call a Cruise liner full of academics?
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
Here we see two birds of prey in full action
Or nuns as they are more commonly clawed
My dad isn’t usually one full of dad jokes, but he hit me with a great one today.
For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but he’s been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said “It’s at the intersection, where the IHOP is.”
Dad replied, “Oh, that’s my favorite place to get breakfast.”
I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. 😐
Full credits to u/xibang.
Pun needed
Hey guys! I am getitng a puppy in a few months and her name is supposed to be Zoe. However since she is pure golden retriever because of some laws her full name has to to be “Give me your ‘name’” and I want it to be some kind of pun containing the word “Zoe” since that what she’s gonna be called like Zoedorable but something that matches the sentence and I though that maybe you guys can help.
Did you hear about the Dad who spent a full 365 days assembling crèches for Churches ?
It was a Year of Living Mangerously.
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
A van full of terrapins crashed into a van full of tortoises.
It was a turtle disaster!
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
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