Past your eyesd.
me: "what are you supposed to be?"
grandpa: "Im a boomerang"
I have super fish oil injuries.
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
A NardWhale
Why donβt you just ash them?
They only have one, duh
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
He go lieth down.
She looked surprised.
It gives them a lot of wiggle room.
Itβs Nationwide now
It was my signature move.
An ex-or-cyst?
My oldest asked me why I needed glitter at the office?
I told him because I wanted to be flashy.
The look his mom gave me was jackpot.
Past-your-eyes!
It was a real unique corn.
She needed to makeup her mind!
I looked at her and said, "That's because you're a blockhead."
Talk about headline news
My wife sits on my lap, looks at my face for a few seconds, then picks at my forehead and tells me I'm peeling.
wife: You're peeling.
me: a?
w: what? your forehead is peeling.
m: a?
w: 'a' what?
m: a?
w: huh?
m: just one spot?
w: well just one spot, but several flakes
m: so just one spot?
w: yeah
m: so, a?
w: ...
m: a?
w: what are you trying to tell me?
m: you find me appealing?
Wife gets up
