Saw this fine pun at work the other day
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of you will understand that
Edit: I see this joke has been quite divisive! Thank you to everyone who made this joke a thousand times better in the comments, you're all amazing, and thank you for the awards!
I was fined by a government official for not revealing members of my household.
That definitely brought to me to my census.
Son: Daddy there’s a spider in my room. Dad: he’s fine, he’s just minding his own business. Son: what business does a spider have?
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I hope you scrolled past that.
I think whoever made this book is a total quack
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.
He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”
What do you call a dog that floats fine?
My friends are always saying it’s fine to hug and kiss their kids...
But when I hug and kiss their kids it’s suddenly a lawsuit.
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
Hope a large fraction of y'all have a sense of humour
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
There's a Fine Line Between a Bad Joke and a Dad Joke
You can see it in the middle of the "B"
Times New Roman, Arial, and Sans Serif walk into a bar
Before they can order a drink the bartender yells
"Get out, we don't serve your type here!"
My friend got fined by the cops when they saw him smoking a joint in a greenhouse.
People in glass houses shouldn’t get stoned.
My English skills and mental health need improvement, but my math skills are fine.
Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
There is a fine line between saving and killing
There's a fine line between
fine enough, self advertisement? i think not.
When I went to the county courthouse to pay my fines with a bag full of dimes, the clerk wasn't very happy...
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
“Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?”
Cop: Yes. It’s quite a moving violation.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...
Just so I cover all the bassists.
My dad is having a colonoscopy today butt he should be fine.
Finely chopped meat mixed with gelatine, blood, grits, or bread, then stuffed into animal intestines or skin, sounds pretty bad wherever you are.
But in Germany, it's the wurst.
I broke my finger at work today
On the other hand I'm completely fine
"Dad, do you have any rough sandpaper?" My son asked.
"Of coarse I do," I replied.
I went to the dentist yesterday...
I went to my dentist yesterday, and after about a half an hour of cleaning and filling I finally could go home. Before I left he stopped me and said,
"Hey man, you better lay off the sweets, you'll get cavities."
I scoffed and replied, "I'll be fine doc."
Today I took a bite into my third chocolate bar and suddenly a jolt of pain shot from my tooth,
"OW MOTHERFU--"
I went to the dentist again, running inside. He turned to me and smirked,
"The tooth hurts, doesn't it?"
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?
Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!
I got a parking ticket for being parked illegally the other day and I’ve no idea why. I mean...
The sign clearly said, “Fine for parking”.
A tailor walks into a clothes shop and requests a fine garb.
Unfortunately, everything they had was too small. I guess they didn’t suit him.
Old man Art was planting flowers in his front yard. The homeowners’ association fined him $100.
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
My son came home to find me slumped over the lawn mower crying my eyes out. He shouted over the noise, "You ok, pop?!" I shouted back...
"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"
As an immigration officer, I may not always agree with you.
But I can see where you are coming from.
Remeber, there is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like a moron.
He will be fine by next spring time
https://preview.redd.it/mmh6x5677qk31.png?width=605&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac14114f7ca2bd726c277aa97e2ef5fd666dd7bb
Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction” on ITunes. “Turn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly fine however.
Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you.
My friend got back from running and he looked fine, but when he took off his shoes, his feet were sweating profusely
My friend asked me how many clowns I saw at the carnival today and I said
A waitress asked me: “Soup or salad?”
I said just a regular salad would be fine
Having gay parents must be horrible
You either get twice the amount of dad jokes or you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom."
Edit: On another Sub someone called me a homophobe. I want to say I'm not a homophobe it was simply a light hearted joke. I'm gay myself and wouldn't want to create hate or controversy. So sorry if I offended anyone.
Edit 2: Thanks for giving me my first award.
Edit 3: if you have heard it else where then fine Like this one guy in the comments said "I’ve seen it a few times but no doubt many people haven’t. No reason a good joke can’t be posted bc someone’s posted it in the past."
Edit 4: making too many edits but thanks for the gold kind stranger (And all of them means alot)
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
There is a fine line between stupid and funny
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.
During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.
I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.
It’s a fine line…
… Between County and Country.
The pun is in the fine print
Food contamination warning!
Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park today?
Everything’s fine, she woke up.
My daughter didn't want to eat her dinner so I said "Ok that's fine, technically you can go the rest of your life without eating."
"You'd starve to death but that technically was the rest of your life."
Mario in court
Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$
Mario: why
Judge: it’s a fine
Mario : no itsa not
I didn’t come up with this just thought it was funny
There's a fine line between hyphenated words.
I was in the hospital the other day and the nurse asked how I was doing; I told her I was fine until my bladder had to go and get infected...
The police fined me for speeding
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
Should be able to CD eclipse just fine
Blonde
A couple were watching the news.
"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident," said the newscaster.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing... "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Today i drank food colouring and my docter said i would be fine
But I felt like I dyed a little inside.
Looks like we’re going out for some fine diming tonight!
A dad got hit by a flying power tool.
He said "everything was fine and then BOSCH!"
Two psychics run into each other on the street.
One says to the other “you’re doing fine but how am I?”
Explaining his stance on eating fish, he says that he’s fine with eating fish just not bass,
Because you should never go bass to mouth
Everything was fine before the geese left...
Then things started to go south.
I went into my favorite bar and asked for a Bud.The bartender, we'll call her Penny, say's you have to tell me who makes it first.Kinda stumped I said Anheiser Busch.She said "just fine,and hows your dick."
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of people know this
Son, there is a fine line
Between a numerator and a denominator.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
There's a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
Only a fraction of the people will get this joke
there’s a fine line between a dad joke and a bad joke
There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
Only a fraction of people understand that joke.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
only a fraction of people will get this joke
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
there's a fine line between a numerator and a denomenator
Yesterday I broke my finger, on the other hand I'm fine!
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
There's a fine line between Bad jokes and Dad jokes
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator...
only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
