Saw this fine pun at work the other day
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Sadly, only a fraction of people will get this joke
I'm fine with alcohol and weed, but cocaine is where I draw the line !
*calls mum * son : I'm in hospital but don't worry everything is fine
Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time
No need for gold. I'm fine with silver(ware).
2020 hasn't been all bad. I've been doing fine off my OCD meds now for about..
..6 months, 15 days, 9 hours, and coming up to 12 minutes..now
Everything was fine until I got a universal remote
Everything at the AA meeting was going fine
Until Jesus went to go get a glass of water
Did you know that in some countries, mathematicians are forced to pay fines for being unlawful to Jesus?
Yeah, it’s called a Sin-tax.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of you will understand that
Edit: I see this joke has been quite divisive! Thank you to everyone who made this joke a thousand times better in the comments, you're all amazing, and thank you for the awards!
I'm fine with Mr. but Ms doesn't have a period
Why did the mummy get fined by the FCC?
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
I hope you scrolled past that.
A darker one my 10 year old dropped on me... (possibly triggering)
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
What do you call a dog that floats fine?
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
I mean normally the customer service at the chip shop is fine. But when there's huge lines and only a few teens working there? Then it's...
What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?
Miss Lead!
..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...
I think whoever made this book is a total quack
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.
Dad jokes that you overuse in public that infuriate your partner?
So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to “put the kettle on” I respond “I can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked “do you need a bag” I point at her and say “it’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.
I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).
My friends are always saying it’s fine to hug and kiss their kids...
But when I hug and kiss their kids it’s suddenly a lawsuit.
Cashier: “Do you want milk in the bags?”
Dad: “No, thanks. The carton is fine”.
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
Hope a large fraction of y'all have a sense of humour
What's a bear with no Teeth?
what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?
fine enough, self advertisement? i think not.
There's a Fine Line Between a Bad Joke and a Dad Joke
You can see it in the middle of the "B"
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
There is a fine line between the denominator and the numerator
Only a fraction of people would get this.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator,
But only a fraction of people understand this.
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Only a fraction of people know this
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Son, there is a fine line
Between a numerator and a denominator.
There's a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.
Only a fraction of the people will get this joke
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell in a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.
The woman asked the doctor about the baby.
The doctor: Congratulations. You had twins, both boys. They're both fine. And your brother named them a for you.
Woman: No. No. No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name them?
Doctor: He named one of them Pete, after your deceased father as he told me.
Woman: Oh that's actually a very nice name. What did he name the other boy?
Doctor: deeply sighs RePete.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
