I was figuring out what career path I should take.

Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a fetish for figuring things out

I just came to that realization.

πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"

But it's just a curd to me

πŸ‘︎ 336
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_22_14_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Figuring out how to starve a zombie isn’t difficult.

It’s a no-brainer.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Need help figuring out a pun

My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.

One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.

So it’s either not a pun, or we’re dense.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarcosanAnarchist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a hard time figuring out how to turn on the lights in my new apartment.

Then it clicked.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kawaii_PotatoUwU
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been having the most difficult time figuring out what audio system to put in my car.

I hate making decisions based on stereotypes.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mingonius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Figuring out the difference between...

The terms "midget" and "little person" has me stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are having trouble figuring something out, ask a chemist

They have the best solutions.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToeKneeh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was having trouble figuring out how to use a hammer and nails.

I told him, β€œScrew it.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What does Drogba, the soccer player say after figuring out a clever joke?

I see what you didier..

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2014
🚨︎ report
Figuring out what to do around the house

"I wanna wash the sheets"

"...but you can see them from here"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trpdrpr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans

But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E

πŸ‘︎ 775
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eagleboy444
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
No one could figure out who set the Cathedral of Notre Dame on fire..

... But Quasimodo had a hunch.

πŸ‘︎ 330
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.

"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"

>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFonziScheme
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.

I have to make every second Count.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally figured out why Waldo always wears stripes.

He doesn't want to be spotted.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Found one of our own
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIronPumpkin
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Relationships between hockey πŸ’ players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.

No one is willing to break the ice.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fladavpam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I figured out the secret chord that David played!

It's Gsus

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I miss my deceased father and his dadjokes, so I figured I’d text him.

But I just got ghosted

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyveido
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I entered 10 puns in a joke contest. I figured one of them would win...

But no pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...

Philately will get you nowhere

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Not sure if OP was going for a pun
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thamara-k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.

I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kornykory
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...

Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.

πŸ‘︎ 528
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

It’s because they charge a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 247
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?

Aisle B, back

πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What historical figure is known for saying "ehh, good enough."?

Mediocrates

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn't figure out his blood type.

At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notelonmusk__
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?

He said "There was a sail."

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me how to figure out of you're drunk

He said: Son, see those 2 cars over there? If you ever see 4 then you know you're drunk

Me: But Dad, there's only 1 car?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor

He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KicksandStrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seatbelt...

Then it clicked

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
With no buses, trains, or taxis in sight, and my wife going into labor, I figured the only solution was a piggyback.

But she refused to give me one.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.

I was out looking at beds with the family.

Wife: "I really like this bed."

Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I just figured out I was colourblind

It came out of the yellow!

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamTheMango
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.

They were already assembled.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?

The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesebandit0813
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.

At least he told us to be positive.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReineDeTaBite
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My son made me a whale figure

It was really whale made!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikobjectbook
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Figure out the joke yourself
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Just-Be-Chill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.

I couldn’t fathom it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.

I'm stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownemoji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...

Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.

Your gas is as good as mine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I discovered that I have a fetish for figuring things out

I just came to that realization

πŸ‘︎ 303
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rotimi_babalola
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I discovered I have a fetish for figuring things out.

I came to the realization.

πŸ‘︎ 309
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I had a hard time figuring out how to use this new pen.

Then it clicked.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bakers_dozin
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2016
🚨︎ report
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.

But Quasimodo had a hunch.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!

It's Gsus

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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