I was figuring out what career path I should take.
Geology rocks, geography is where itβs at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
I have a fetish for figuring things out
I just came to that realization.
π︎ 132
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"
But it's just a curd to me
π︎ 343
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Figuring out how to starve a zombie isnβt difficult.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Need help figuring out a pun
My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.
One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.
So itβs either not a pun, or weβre dense.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
I had a hard time figuring out how to turn on the lights in my new apartment.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
I've been having the most difficult time figuring out what audio system to put in my car.
I hate making decisions based on stereotypes.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Nov 26 2018
Figuring out the difference between...
The terms "midget" and "little person" has me stumped.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
If you are having trouble figuring something out, ask a chemist
They have the best solutions.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
My son was having trouble figuring out how to use a hammer and nails.
I told him, βScrew it.β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 01 2018
What does Drogba, the soccer player say after figuring out a clever joke?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 03 2014
Figuring out what to do around the house
"I wanna wash the sheets"
"...but you can see them from here"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 24 2015
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
π︎ 771
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
No one could figure out who set the Cathedral of Notre Dame on fire..
... But Quasimodo had a hunch.
π︎ 331
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Relationships between hockey π players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.
No one is willing to break the ice.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
I figured out the secret chord that David played!
π︎ 35
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
I miss my deceased father and his dadjokes, so I figured Iβd text him.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...
Philately will get you nowhere
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
I entered 10 puns in a joke contest. I figured one of them would win...
π︎ 217
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
π︎ 39
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.
Itβs because they charge a lot.
π︎ 247
π
︎ Jan 22 2021
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
π︎ 526
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
What historical figure is known for saying "ehh, good enough."?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
π︎ 104
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn't figure out his blood type.
At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"
π︎ 46
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
My Dad told me how to figure out of you're drunk
He said: Son, see those 2 cars over there? If you ever see 4 then you know you're drunk
Me: But Dad, there's only 1 car?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Mar 10 2021
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesnβt just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon.
reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
With no buses, trains, or taxis in sight, and my wife going into labor, I figured the only solution was a piggyback.
But she refused to give me one.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seatbelt...
π︎ 141
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
You know it's a great dadjoke when you say something and your family groans, but the stranger dad behind you laughs.
I was out looking at beds with the family.
Wife: "I really like this bed."
Me: "I like it too, but I think this one is bedder."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
I just figured out I was colourblind
It came out of the yellow!
π︎ 85
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?
The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I donβt have to sit and build.
They were already assembled.
π︎ 77
π
︎ Dec 27 2020
My son made me a whale figure
It was really whale made!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Grandpa died because we couldnβt figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Why don't cannibals like eating clowns?
They taste funny!
(I'll see myself out)
π︎ 41
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Figure out the joke yourself
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didnβt really want it but itβs the Thoth that counts
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
I figured out why I am so shy and awkward
A main part of my body is called the nervous system
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
I discovered that I have a fetish for figuring things out
I just came to that realization
π︎ 300
π
︎ Aug 11 2019
I discovered I have a fetish for figuring things out.
I came to the realization.
π︎ 304
π
︎ Aug 28 2016
I had a hard time figuring out how to use this new pen.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 26 2016
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
π︎ 64
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
I figured out why teslas cost so much.
Itβs because they charge a lot.
π︎ 98
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I Figured out the secret chord that David played!
π︎ 72
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
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