Curious

A guy sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"

The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. He didn't do any of that shit."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spazpekker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?

Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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A bunch of knots were at a restaurant, but only one had dinner? Which one had dinner?

Figure eight.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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I'm an aspiring ice dancer but I'm struggling with my new routine.

I just can't figure eight out!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/islandonisland
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2013
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