What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?
My female cat just got fixed, but the vet insisted on referring to it as "feline ovarian removal".
Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
What is a felines's favourite drug?
When a feline turns 13 they're 65 in cat years, so that means they are eligible for MediCare.
I recently staged an intervention for my religious feline addict.
Needless to say, he's not a Catholic anymore.
He flooded my post about feline mastitis with cheesy puns. So I ended it.
Why should you trust most felines?
Because only a few of them are cheetahs.
What do you call a feline audio blog?
Which US state did running felines originate from?
A guy went to class on a test day dressed in a feline outfit; while his prof was blabbing about academic integrity the guy said ..
I'm not lion and won't be a cheetah
What is a feline bar tenders favorite drink?
I have a pretty bad feline about this
He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
Why do all felines have to go to the eye doctor?
Where do people go to find their feline of choice
I regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with.
But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas
I hope you're all feline great today.
A collector of Feline pokémons was brought to the court..
He was charged with attempted robbery. Before giving out the sentence, the judge gave him an opportunity to present his case before the jury.
After his testimony the jury decided to give him minimal punishment, they all understood...
...that he had a lot of meowths to feed.
I’m feline strangely attracted.
If felines and canines would ever take over and rule the world...
It would be reigning cats and dogs!
Why should you never make an award shaped like a feline rear end?
It's always a cat-as-trophe.
Are you not feline well??
You better not be kitten, I'm calling the purrramedics!
When all the felines find out you have a garden.
My cat just got diagnosed with feline aids
Never wear feline prosthetic limbs that have been given a high military ranking...
Why did the nun love all her feline friends?
They were all practicing cat-licks
Have you heard about the groups of feline warriors that protects the immune system?
They call themselves the gang-lions.
Did you know that when the Stanley Cup was first made, a series of absurd miscommunications resulted in it being mistakenly engraved with the image of a feline anus?
It was a huge catastrophe.
If I had to pay the bill for a feline disaster in space
That would be a cat-astro-fee.
Why doesn't the Feline Proctology Hospital give out awards?
They don't want to cause a catastrophe.
I have to take my feline friend to the vet this weekend.
He has an appointment for Caturday.
Roman priest addicted to keeping felines.
What do you call a malicious program written by a feline?
I have a friend who works at a feline rescue, he’s always tired.
Trying to get a cat back, it’s exhausting.
What's the worst part about paying to send a feline into space?
They stopped letting felines roam free in the meat market at the grocery store...
Too many animal related injuries, they were too delicat
Q. What does a ship do if it hits a giant feline?
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