What do felines use to represent them in court?

Lawyens

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?

Catatonic

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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My female cat just got fixed, but the vet insisted on referring to it as "feline ovarian removal".

Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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What is a felines's favourite drug?

Katimine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I'm feline punny today
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flimsy_Classic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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When a feline turns 13 they're 65 in cat years, so that means they are eligible for MediCare.

Or is it MediCat?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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He flooded my post about feline mastitis with cheesy puns. So I ended it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Churro-Bwoi
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Why should you trust most felines?

Because only a few of them are cheetahs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeMiniBuffet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I recently staged an intervention for my religious feline addict.

Needless to say, he's not a Catholic anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bballconnor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What do you call a feline audio blog?

A pawedcast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Which US state did running felines originate from?

Kinetic-cat

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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Feline good!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortyBdunkin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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I have a pretty bad feline about this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingGanker11477
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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A guy went to class on a test day dressed in a feline outfit; while his prof was blabbing about academic integrity the guy said ..

I'm not lion and won't be a cheetah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/actuaryvsp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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What is a feline bar tenders favorite drink?

Cat-a-tonic

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Why do all felines have to go to the eye doctor?

For their cat-aracts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewciferthedude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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Where do people go to find their feline of choice

A CATalog!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungWilly2004
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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Feline fine [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheReal_CDK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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I hope you're all feline great today.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PukkaCakes
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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β€ͺI regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with. ‬ β€ͺ

But it turns out it wasn’t the cat’s pyjamas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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I’m feline strangely attracted.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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A collector of Feline pokΓ©mons was brought to the court..

He was charged with attempted robbery. Before giving out the sentence, the judge gave him an opportunity to present his case before the jury.

After his testimony the jury decided to give him minimal punishment, they all understood...

...that he had a lot of meowths to feed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippity-potato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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If felines and canines would ever take over and rule the world...

It would be reigning cats and dogs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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Are you not feline well??

You better not be kitten, I'm calling the purrramedics!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bored_bonanza
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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Why should you never make an award shaped like a feline rear end?

It's always a cat-as-trophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/retief1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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When all the felines find out you have a garden.

Catnip at the frisco!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumpdawg88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Never wear feline prosthetic limbs that have been given a high military ranking...

It's a major faux paw.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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My cat just got diagnosed with feline aids

He's HIV pawsitive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortTemperedGeek
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Why did the nun love all her feline friends?

They were all practicing cat-licks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/candyman337
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Did you know that when the Stanley Cup was first made, a series of absurd miscommunications resulted in it being mistakenly engraved with the image of a feline anus?

It was a huge catastrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Case_Ace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2017
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Have you heard about the groups of feline warriors that protects the immune system?

They call themselves the gang-lions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TacoNumeroJuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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If I had to pay the bill for a feline disaster in space

That would be a cat-astro-fee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nanushthedog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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Why doesn't the Feline Proctology Hospital give out awards?

They don't want to cause a catastrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clearlyNOTinsane
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Roman priest addicted to keeping felines.

Cat-holic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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What do you call a malicious program written by a feline?

Meowware.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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I have a friend who works at a feline rescue, he’s always tired.

Trying to get a cat back, it’s exhausting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noitalever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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What's the worst part about paying to send a feline into space?

It's a catastrophe!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hizleggys
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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They stopped letting felines roam free in the meat market at the grocery store...

Too many animal related injuries, they were too delicat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/205throwitup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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Q. What does a ship do if it hits a giant feline?

A. It catsizes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steel_Stream
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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