How do you tell your friends that you have coronavirus?

I’ve got no taste, buds.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatIsNeat47
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus is now all over the world

But China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 325
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Said_It_in_Reddit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Will the Coronavirus shot come with a wedge of lime?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick_vandernick
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter: "Can Santa catch the coronavirus?"

Me: "Probably not, he's really good at elf-isolation"

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Dr. walked in and told me that I had the coronavirus.

I asked, β€œAre you sure?”

He said, β€œI’m COVID-19 positive.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harko-Luxa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you die from Coronavirus?

A Coughin'

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The coronavirus won't last for long

Because it was made in china

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjaxson1111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife got tested for coronavirus...

I am very disappointed, she failed

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noblegamer789
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been self isolating with coronavirus

Above all, I’ve found it tough to stay positive.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Wouldn't be surprised to learn Elon Musk to leads a mercenary team of tesla employees who bite victims to spread coronavirus

They are called the Flu Flux Fang!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/16thPeregrine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
When the first company develops the Coronavirus vaccine we should all proclaim: "Covidatulations"
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBossSnake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Have we seen this coronavirus before?

If we have it's plaguerism!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Trump's top aides have Coronavirus

It would appear he has a staff infection

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WellWrested
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
China just found the first person to get coronavirus

His name is Ah Chu

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucburba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If both President Trump and VP Pence died from Coronavirus...

... that would be unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Conspiracy theorists will never be able to find the true story of the coronavirus' origins...

It was all COVID up

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/msboogers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have this friend who was worried that they might have coronavirus.

I probably shouldn’t have told them to stay positive.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Arthur24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.

It’s a midwife crisis.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The coronavirus has many names

But the election infection takes the cake for me

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScarletWoods
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about the Coronavirus

He never catches anything

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t go to the dentist because you are too afraid of catching coronavirus?

You get Covidies

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
This is a Coronavirus joke.

Let me know in two weeks if you get it.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Can the coronavirus survive on Mars if it ends up on a SpaceX rocket ?

"a lone mask" wants to know !

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus vaccine

Heard Russia has the vaccine to Coronavirus. I'm probably not Putin that into my body.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
During Coronavirus, always pay businesses with cash where possible.

It will help them make a gross profit.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshzyx612
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
This is our first summer not going to Hawaii because of Coronavirus.

Usually it’s because we can’t afford it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Collapse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't ants get coronavirus

Because they have antibodies

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TermiteJoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Coronavirus doctors get fired?

For MaskDebating on live TV

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
So Poland's dealing with a surge in the number of the novel coronavirus cases. Can we say that the Winged HusSARS arrived?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Niggociable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Summing up the current coronavirus pandemic
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aj_seravla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't ants get coronavirus?

Because they're good at keeping 6 feet apart.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunMathematician1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t cows and sheep get coronavirus?

They have herd immunity.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organizatuon has discovered that Coronavirus cannot be transmitted between dogs and humans. They have released all quarantined dogs.

To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Lines for urinals have become an increasing problem in containing the coronavirus.

So mind your pees in queues.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What would you call Quinton Tarantino if he caught the coronavirus

Quinton Quarantino

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chartman21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
All countries eventually got the coronavirus but...

china got it right of the bat

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
All countries got coronavirus eventually, but...

China got it right off the bat!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1Pootato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
All countries eventually got Coronavirus...

But China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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