There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Why do I always feel great on Saturdays and Sundays, and sick on all the other days ?
Maybe I just have a weekend immune system..
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︎ May 29 2021
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
My roof caved in on me... and I no longer feel safe.
I think I have truss issues
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︎ May 12 2021
How did the smoker feel when he quit smoking?
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︎ Jun 01 2021
I find it hilarious when people use big words they don't fully understand to make themselves feel more...
π︎ 8
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︎ May 25 2021
I wonder how sex feels like on Mars...
...probably out of this world!
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︎ May 29 2021
Why does the bread feel so insecure around the baker?
He always has to prove himself.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 28 2021
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 23 2021
Whenever someone says βitβs chilly outsideβ I feel compelled to reply:
You know what they say, chili today hot tamale
π︎ 9
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︎ May 31 2021
How did the dentist feel when he dropped the toothpaste?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 30 2021
It's common for people to feel a group of symptoms if they often frequent prison yards.
That's where the syndrome.
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︎ Jun 05 2021
We all feel like this sometimes
π︎ 61
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I am the punisher, feel my laugh!
π︎ 46
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
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︎ May 12 2021
Feel like this is the appropriate place for me to post this
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︎ Apr 03 2021
How did the mechanic feel after he left the muffler shop?
π︎ 2
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︎ May 22 2021
Wanna know what disappointment feels like?
π︎ 27
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︎ May 11 2021
I feel a constant urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight
It's always just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away....
π︎ 16
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︎ May 13 2021
How did Luke Skywalker feel after he peed inside the stormtrooper outfit?
π︎ 66
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︎ Apr 01 2021
He must feel lonely at (k)night
π︎ 140
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I feel like the stress of the pandemic has really aged me...
...I look at least a year older.
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 15 2021
I feel like itβs made worse by the fact that itβs an Undertale remix
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 18 2021
I now know how my dentist feels
Because getting my kid to eat dinner is like pulling teeth!
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︎ Apr 21 2021
I said to my therapist that I feel a little paranoid with Back Street Boys, and he said...
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I feel like I always have to scratch my butt
Itβs a perineal problem.
(Credit to wife for spontaneous punning)
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︎ Apr 14 2021
A man went to the doctorβs and told him, βI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.β
He said, βWow, thatβs the worst case of parking sonβs disease Iβve ever seen.β
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I feel like this meme fits in here.
π︎ 1k
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︎ Oct 27 2020
i can feel it too
π︎ 24
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︎ Feb 27 2021
How did Vader feel before he took his jedi test?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
The way thou maketh me feel.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I feel like I don't need a spine...
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 10 2021
i'm beginning to feel like a pun god
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I feel bad for toilets
They go through a lot of shit
π︎ 36
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︎ Feb 04 2021
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
I often feel introspective when looking in a mirror...
It's good for self reflection.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president
Because I am washing-a-ton
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︎ Mar 21 2021
How do you feel when you get sick after eating Mediterranean food?
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 14 2021
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 05 2021
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
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︎ Jan 15 2021
i feel bad for the ducks in the frozen pond
luckily thereβs a quack in the ice
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 13 2021
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
π︎ 69
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︎ Feb 06 2021
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