Did you hear about the photographer that always caught people's worst features?

She was a poor-traits artist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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If I had to choose one feature on my face...

... I’d pick my nose!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Back to the Feature.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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A man called 911 after his 76 year old mother wandered out of the family home during the night. When asked what she had been wearing and if she had any personally identifying features about her, he advised she was barefoot, half naked and had a visible scar from her hysterectomy.

The dispatcher replied, β€œSo... no shirt, no shoes, no cervix?”

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Did you hear that Elon Musk is trying to add Anti-German features to the new Tesla?

He is trying to add Hans free steering.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as β€˜marked as read’

To Mark has read

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My friend asked me how the text-to-speech feature works on his phone, but I didn't bother explaining it to him.

It speaks for itself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What geological feature has the deepest sense of humour?

sarchasm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beebeebobo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Has anyone heard about the new feature on computers to pander toward the newer generation?

It's called Ctrl-ALT-YEET.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueDitty
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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My eyes really are my best feature.

If you took them away, I couldn't even look at myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/massivevivid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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Two domestic abusers, very similar features...

A striking resemblance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I guess that means it's a feature
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2016
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My girlfriend just can't resist swimming in those water features outside of Japanese restaurants.

She just loves playing Koi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I travel around the country giving seminars on the beneficial features of dried grapes.

I’m in the business of raisin awareness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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As a cartographer, I'm used to adding terrain features to maps.

But when it comes to establishing a boundary, that's where I draw the line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whudaboutit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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Hello! I thought that maybe some of you lovely punny people might want to support my enamel pin kickstarter as they feature these pun-tastic grumpy woodland animals πŸ˜„ I’ll put the link in the comments
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Why haven't we seen companies like Subaru with their safety features talk about their models next year having 2020 vision?

Since all model years are released a year early, they have a chance to start talking about it now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subsum44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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When a bear shops for a new family car, some features are a must-have.

For instance it needs to have adequate cub holders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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How many arrays do you give a software engineer for finishing a feature?

Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array! Hip Hip Array!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rine117
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Detective movies often feature pretzels in them.

They both have a lot of twists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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This feature seems to be working properly.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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I was hoping to buy a new car but I was after decent onboard storage so after the salesman specified lots of features about it, I asked "Cargo space?"

He replied "Car no do that, car no fly"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a hill where a lot of baby horses are buried?

My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geckothegeek42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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Look at those chiseled features!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tlddlttlddlt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2013
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Looking for Minecraft-based puns for a server name. Anything to do with mining, blocks, or any feature of Minecraft helps!

A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terminavelocity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2014
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My job is to put dents into new cars to test their safety features.

Needless to say, the job is very depressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Industrial
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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My wife is expecting in March so in preparation, I have been working on my dad jokes. She was just thinking about whose features will be more dominant when our little one arrives. She then asked me whose genes were stronger.

I said "probably Lee or Levis." I laughed for about 5 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmoffitt15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2017
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My dad found a new messaging feature

http://i.imgur.com/BY15Jd0.png

(posted this to /r/funny about a month ago but it got removed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/somehobo606
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Whatsapp has changed it’s feature previously known as β€˜marked as read’

To Mark has read

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report

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