My wife beamed at me and said, βI had no idea our son would go that far!β Tearing up, I stammered, βI know!"
"The trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter!"
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︎ Apr 16 2021
A couple of days ago, the government was overthrown by the military. Today, i moved my henhouse far away
When my wife asked me why i did it, i told her we were experiencing a coop detached
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︎ Jun 04 2021
Seven Year Old Hit Me With His Best So Far
Driving home after a long week and had been driving for five hours or so on two lane roads through NM and AZ. Hour south of Petrified Forest and see four sheep on the side of the road.
Me: Son see those sheep? There must be a break in the fence and they are wandering away from their ranch.
Son: Well, that sounds baaaad.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
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︎ May 21 2021
If a cat tries to jump too far, they tend to pay a price.
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︎ May 15 2021
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 22 2021
βHey, how much wood have you chopped so far?β
βNot sure. Let me check the logs.β
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Wow never thought I'd get this far
π︎ 106
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︎ Nov 14 2020
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Best dad joke I've heard today.. so far
Me: "Are you free tomorrow?"
Dad: "No, I'm 5 bucks tomorrow."
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Everybody knows about Murphyβs Law, but far fewer people are aware of Coleβs Law
Itβs finely shredded cabbage in mayonnaise.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts???
reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
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︎ Dec 26 2020
My addiction to refrigerated poultry has gone too far
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︎ Aug 21 2020
What do you call an apple that falls far from the tree?
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
π︎ 28
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I once asked a Frenchman how far it was to the capital city of Malawi.
He replied 'Le long way'.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
Happy Ho.idays to friends and .oved ones c.ose and far. B.essings to you and yours this Yu.e season.
(This is my No-L greeting.)
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︎ Dec 10 2020
making it this far has been no small feet
π︎ 12
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Showtime has far too many commercials on their channel.
Itβs just Shameless plug after Shameless plug.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.
Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
As far as baby chickens are concerned...
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︎ Dec 24 2020
My Mum can go far
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Far Cough
Had to visit a mall today. As I was standing on the escalator, someone coughed behind me. I turned around and noticed he was very near. We all know if you need to cough, you must cough far away. So I told him to FAR COUGH. And thatβs how the fight started
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What comes to your door and helps you see far?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
π︎ 22
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Talking with my brother: βHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?β
βThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra stepsβ
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︎ Dec 15 2020
People can take a dark joke too far...
...but a dad joke is farther!
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︎ Dec 10 2020
My favorite so far
What did James Bond do before bed
He went under cover
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Has science gone too far?
Maybe, I can barely see it from here.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Alright now this is too far
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︎ Apr 12 2019
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
βDonβt worry, he just got disco-nnected.β
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Whoβs the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Iβm proud of my son, I never thought heβd go so far
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!
Because he is the supreme ruler.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 13 2020
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...
...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 14 2020
So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;
I've learned next to nothing.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
A geology/geography/aerodynamics study that a sandstorm in Africa can blow sand and dust as far as to even Florida
So anyways, I dust the grains down from africa
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︎ Jul 15 2020
In a galaxy far far away
A rebel pilot and an imperial pilot had a race around the deathstar to see who had the faster ship. It was a tie!
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︎ Jun 25 2020
This is by far the best pun of the day , the journalist really drove the message home!
π︎ 6k
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︎ May 30 2017
In a village, far far away, two farmers often had a competition within themselves to see who harvests the most every 6 months.
After failing to win for about 9 times in a row, Jaime, hired a spy who will go and check Jack's harvest the night before the contest so he can harvest more. As the spy came back the night before, he informed the farmer Jaime about the amount that he saw inside Jack's yard but he was not able to tell the amount in exact. Jaime took the spy to his paddy field, gave him some extra money than what they initially agreed upon and said...
"You reap what you saw".
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︎ Jun 19 2020
The impact the aeroplaneβs invention has made has been far-reaching
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I'm pretty far on the left politically but I'm not involved in any activism
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︎ Aug 05 2020
My wife beamed at me with pride and said "Wow, I never thought our son would go that far!"
I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
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︎ Mar 18 2021
My wife looked at me beaming with pride and said, βWow! I never thought our son could go so far!β
I said, βI know. This trebuchet is amazing. Go get our daughter.β
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Me: I had no idea our daughter would go this far.
My husband: I know, this trebuchet is amazing. Let's get our son!
π︎ 64
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︎ Jul 13 2020
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