What do wilderness survival experts use to cook their burgers

Bear Grills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carcival
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together

but I’m knot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bagelfaceass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What do you call an expert wine taster from the horn of Africa?

A Somalier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peva3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Cat Expert.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyyoutookmyname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I've bought a book called 'How to become an expert in Origami.'

So far, I've made over 1000 paper snow balls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother

His name was Broco Lee

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacrelidge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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There's a new show on BBC where heroin junkies can determine via experts, how much money they've shot up over the years.

It's called,Cash in the Addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossco1874
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I'm an expert at idioms

I know them like the front of my hand

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".

That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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My complete jerk of a brother is a Karate expert, a Chef and a Lawyer!

Dad calls him "Chop Suey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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What do you call an old explosive expert?

A BOOMer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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What do you call an expert at dad jokes?

A master of pun fu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoyamec69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Son: β€œWhat crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”

Dad: β€œWell I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Experts have confirmed that bowling is officially the quietest sport.

You can hear a pin drop, after all.

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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You'll definitely need an expert for that
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ELZEKO_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Y'all acting like overclocking is an expert thing
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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What does a martial arts expert drink?

Kara-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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Driving past a farm, I said to the kids, "Those are expert horses..."

"... They're out standing in their field."

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I met this rich, easy-going fingerprints expert.

"Wow," I thought to myself, "This is really a man of the whorl."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaderosegrey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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My dad after we almost hit a deer in the car the other day:

"You know, he's an expert in his field."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fragglepusss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Why are mobsters expert at chopping down trees?

Because they're goodfellers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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What do you call a toddler who can expertly select the proper whine for every meal?

A master so-smalier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sammmbie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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What do you call a denim expert?

A jeanius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingfishtaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Pun experts, I need your help

I want to change my IGN to something that includes puns. right now I came up with "PunKneeShare" which I think is not that original nor good. what are your suggestions?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesome_Arsam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?

Bruce Leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommyboy3111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Calamari fishing expert

My friend, Ming Kuo, is an expert at fishing for calamari. We call him "Squid Pro Kuo!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanTu34
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What do you call a cat litter expert?

A cat litterate

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tightheadband
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Did you know a lot of drug addicts are experts in geology?

They’re called stoners for a reason, you know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastercore8112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Today on the bus I sat next to a man who was an expert on fungal organisms. The whole time he was talking to me all I could think was...

That is not a fungi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/talesOfTheNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Then I started to learn more about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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I watch the History Channel a lot. I’ve become an expert, actually. Ask me anything,

about American Pickers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Genghis Khan and his soldiers were experts in haircuts and shaving.

They were a barberic tribe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
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What is a ballistics experts favorite snack?

Chips and glockamole

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/caddycoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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If one is an expert in tying knots,

One does knot simply.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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I always know when my pals are going to be ill...

β€˜Cos I’m a forensic expert

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur with expert taste on a subject?

A connoi-saurus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/113CandleMagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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