I live near an atomic shelter and in my encounters with it, it never lied and always kept its word

Now that's what I call structural integrity

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Unfortunate encounter [OC]
👍︎ 97
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
For the Random Encounters fans...
👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My son just had his first encounter with diarrhea

They didn’t get off to a solid start

👍︎ 36
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you encounter a sad Xbox?

You console it

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/metalsgt90
📅︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Help me remember the pun I had. For a RPG game I was planning an encounter with a walking brothel/whore house (like howl's moving castle)and the whorehouse had a really punny name.

I can only think of "The bone wanderer", but what I had was better than that and I cant remember it. please make suggestions, and maybe it'll be close enough to spark my memory

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/camerawn
📅︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
They say that when you encounter a lion, you shouldn't move a muscle.

So when I encountered one, I stood still for 6 hours.

Then a bloke approached me and said, "The zoo is about to be closed."

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What should you do when you encounter a Flock of Seagulls?

You run, you run so far away.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
close encounter

one day, an alien appliance company named "Closen" decided to create a new and improved counter. Their plan was to create a slogan for it like "so good, even the humans like it!". But, they did need a human opinion. So, they abducted a human from Earth and introduced it to him.

"What do you think?" they translate to him. He shakes his head.

"Not for me, really".

Defeated, the aliens send him back down to Earth. As he reappears, many people surround him.

"Oh my goodness, are you ok? what happened?" They all screamed. He smiled, reassuring them.

"It's alright, it was just a Closen counter"

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Accidently played dad instead of playing dead in an encounter with a bear

It can now ride a bike without training wheels

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/eliedacc
📅︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
True dad encounter at the shops

Shop assistant: "sir do you have a smaller bill?" Dad: "no but you can rip that one in half..."

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/mtb_21
📅︎ Oct 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Famous psychoanalyst encounters icy footpath.

Freudian slip.

👍︎ 11
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 23 2017
🚨︎ report
If you ever encounter an ungrateful person from France

Show him no merci

👍︎ 24
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad's encounter with cat

My dad was a carpenter and would start to tell me a story in such an honest way I thought for sure he was serious;

"Ya know, this one time we were building this house, and this damn cat kept coming in and bothering us all day. So my buddy Jimmy put some gas in a cap and the cat drank the whole thing... Suddenly, it jumped up and ripped all over the room bouncing off walls and crashing into everything. Then, it just fell over....."

waits for you to say

"Did it die?"

"Nope. Ran outta gas."

👍︎ 42
💬︎
👤︎ u/Mofo34
📅︎ Oct 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Chuck bragged about his first three sexual encounters but about his next one...

He wasn't forthcoming.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Freklred
📅︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad when watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind

When I was like 11 years old back in 1981 and watching Close Encounters of the Third Kind with my dad, there is a scene where Richard Dreyfuss is in the shower with clothes on. My dad says "do you know why he is in the shower with clothes on?" I shake my head no thinking I'm missing something in the movie. He replies "because it's a PG rated movie!"

👍︎ 18
💬︎
👤︎ u/thewhiskey
📅︎ Aug 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Awkward encounter at Lowes today

I was purchasing a Square and level, an older man comes up to me and says "Don't worry I think you're innocent............. because you're obviously framed." I had to think for a while and he explained it was funny because of the tools I had in my hand.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/diddy403
📅︎ Nov 01 2014
🚨︎ report
An alien spelling be is a Close Encounter of the Word Kind.
👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 24 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.