I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.
Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent
A glue company claimed it was environmentally friendly but was found to be dumping waste into the local river.
Their PR team is in a sticky situation.
What's the best spice for dumping your girlfriend?
I saw a man dumping herbs into a garbage can
"What a waste of thyme" I said.
Edit: I made a reddit account to post this.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
If you squat on a stump and take a dump....
Is it considered a toilet-tree?
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That shit is getting old," I told him.
PS: Do I get any extra credit if this is a real story?
My wife dumped me for only talking about video games.
It’s such a ridiculous thing to fallout 4
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I had a girlfriend in high school that I dumped when I found out she was missing a toe on her left foot...
I guess that makes me lack-toes intolerant.
I dumped the idea of throwing the garbage in my neighbor's backyard
A friend of mine just told me his boyfriend dumped him when he found out he had a Bakugo body pillow!!
"WHAT!?!?!" I cried, "THAT GUY IS UNBEWEEBABLE!!!"
After a long day I want to take a dump as soon as I get home, but it's not my first order of business.
My ex hated language, so I had to dump her.
I couldn't be with someone who was anti-semantic.
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
I woke up this morning and found that someone has dumped a bunch of celery on my front porch.
I think I’m being stalked.
Why did Winnie the Pooh take a dump in the elevator?
He wanted to take his shit to the next level.
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
My best friend just got dumped by his girlfriend in the YMCA...
Seems like their relationship isn't gonna workout
I saw a group of crows hanging out at the dump
It was a murder most fowl!
So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: “Dog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:
Don’t you mean a “Fur-rari”?
My girlfriend dumped me...
My dad (67) just sent this to me. It's literally a dad joke. Some of us might not get it though I'm sure.
What does the Pink Panther say when he knocked over an ant hill?
Dead ant... dead ant... dead ant dead ant dead ant... dead ant dead ant....
Pescatarian date dumped me when I made a steak dinner.
Well, that's fine. At least I've got a lot of other fish in the sea.
I don’t understand why someone dumped a bunch of jigsaw pieces on me...
My fiancé Amy dumped me...
and I was crushed and my world had no purpose, no direction. I wandered through my life Amy-lessly.
My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
My girlfriend just dumped me for always talking about video games
What a silly reason to Fallout 4.
My father was in the army...
And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me it’s a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child.
Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass it’s bowels, but nothing was working.
One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasn’t the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.
“Why don’t you just admit it Harry”, she said;
but he stuck to his denial,
“You think I could ever do something like this Sarah”, he said.
Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.
My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said “Well if the Foux shits...”
What did you the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend.
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
What do you get when the Pope takes a dump?
Every morning after I wake up, I find that someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO on my front porch.
I don’t know what to make of it.
I dumped the idea of throwing the garbage in my neighbor's yard..
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
I woke up this morning and found that someone dumped a bunch of legos on my front door step.
I don’t know what to make of it.
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