A list of puns related to "Drill In"
At first itβs boring and then itβs Riveting!
..dunno, I give up.
How boring!
It was kind of bore-ing.
Senior Chief: I forgot to put on sun lotion, I look like a raddish.
Me: Then, after all that yelling, are you a hoarse raddish?
Authorities are looking into it.
...itβs mainly boring.
It was pretty boring.
He seemed like a pretty down to earth guy.
I guess a black hole is in the center of the Milky Way
So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.
Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"
"What was that?"
"It sounded like the voice of God!"
"Well let's try somewhere else."
They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:
"There are no fish here!"
So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:
"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"
First, you drill a hole in the ice then line it with peas. When the bear comes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole.
(My daughter's joke actually)
Just not sure I want a boring job though.
And then the Drill stepped in and said "Don't mind him. He's just a tool".
And I was watching him for a few minutes and I started to walk away And he shouted out "What am I boring?" I replied "no, not at all" He shouted out as I walked away " of course I'm boring! Boring holes that is!"
I work at a hardware store and this guy comes in looking for bolts, so I take him over to where we have our bulk screws/bolts etc. I then ask the guy,
"What size bolt are you looking for?"
"1/4"
"And how long would you like it?"
"Oh well I'd like it forever if that's possible."
Cue laughter from the both of us and groans from my boss in the next aisle.
Edit: making things make more sense
You know the drill. AK47s, skimasks, the works. Anyway, they tell everybody to lie down on the floor. All the people in the bank hits the floor but this old man. He is still standing. So, the robbers tells him, not very politely i might add, to lie down on the floor.
Old man: "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm CIA"
Robbers: "We don't give a shit, get on the floor NOW!"
Old man: "Nope. I'm CIA."
Old mans wife: "Walt, for Gods sake. You're not CIA, you're senile!"
By freezing it and drilling holes in it!!
Son, I'm looking for that tool of mine that makes holes in things. You know, the drill.
After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. The priest took the initiative, asked the Church for support, and with the help of the local men they built their own temple. From there on, he was celebrating the Sunday masses, joining together men and women in Holy Matrimony, and saying prayers at the funerals.
Many years passed by like that.
At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard.
With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said:
Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was a good man, and even though he thought the request was a bit strange, he went back to the rectory, took out a lemon, cut it in half, took it back to the man and gave it to him, who looked back to the priest with gratitude. However, the priest was curious. He asked:
Son, why do you need this half of a lemon? - with a fright on his face, and before the priest could have said a thing, he rushed out of the churchyard gate and took off.
A week later, around the same time, when the priest was leaving the church, he found himself in front of the same man in the churchyard. The man said:
Priest, please be good and give me half a lemon! - the priest was surprised by the appearance of the man and his strange request. Of course he was good, went back to the rectory, and brought the half lemon. Placed it in the strangerβs hand and immediately he asked:
Here it is, my dear son, but please tell me why do you need this half a lemon? - the man was obviously frightened and immediately ran away but the priest was not sluggish either and ran after him. He wasnβt in a very good condition, he has never run so much and so fast before so he was out of breath by the end of the village, almost fainted. He thought the strange man might appear again next week, and it would be nice if he could keep up with him, so he spent his week working on his cardio. It turned out to be a good idea, because as he thought, the stranger entered the churchyard on Sunday. The priest didnβt even wait for the request, he was good, and brought the half lemon. He received these words from the man:
Thank you
But do you know the screwdriver? I nailed that joke.ο»Ώ"
B : "No, you screwed it up."
C : "I'm going to wrench this joke from you.ο»Ώ"
D : "Stop trying to hammer in your punsο»Ώ."
He used to be the Drill Instructor... And specialised in extractions.
So I forgot my school was having a planned fire drill. I was hanging outside my class building, ditching with my girlfriend when everybody suddenly poured out. My teacher came out in front of the entire class and asked me why I was already outside. I don't know what came over me, I guess my brain went into auto-defense-dad-mode because I told him:
What can I say? I'm a premature evacuator.
My unit had a drill weekend and we were in the woods with only open toilets (no walls or stalls, just three toilet seats next to either.) After the second day one of the officers asked, "Is there a private shiter around here?" I responded with, "I haven't seen him but I'll look for him."
I had gone to the dentist earlier in the day and I had a cavity.
Dad: "So is this your first cavity?"
Me: "No, I had one when I was younger."
Dad: "Okay, so you already know the drill."
Badum tsssss
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnβt chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? βMy Fare, Ladyβ.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physicianβs garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
βWhatβs purple and 5000 miles long?β βOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!β
Every calendarβs days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. βFour bucks,β says the bartender. βPut it on my bill.β
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heβs a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle canβt stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit β‘(at the hardware store)
Dad: "Hey, look! Boring Drill bits!"
Me: "Cool, I have a set in my dorm"
Dad: (calls over employee) "Excuse me 'mam. I see you have boring drill bits..."
Me: (oh god, here it comes)
Dad: Do you have any interesting drill bits?
...and I was attempting to start an IV on him, I begin explaining what I'm about to do. Now, he's a Dentist, so he's been through all this before. So, as I finish my usual explanation, I slip in, "But you already know the drill."
Cue his laughter, and a groan from his wife.
Not a Dad, but I think I'd be good at it...
Doing drills where we had to catch over our left shoulder, I made the catch but said "This doesn't feel right." Coach responds with "That's because it's in your left hand."
GG Coach G.
I had just finished drilling a hole in the back side of my desk to pass the keyboard and mouse cables through.
Me: Would you like me to modify your desk too?
Wife: uuuuuhhh...
Me: The correct answer is "yes".
Wife: Oh! Yes I desperately need my desk fixed.
Me: DESK-perately?
Wife: Deskperately...
Me: Ok, I'll do anything for a damsel in deskstress.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
in drilling into rocks.
I usually found it quite boring.
The bearded salesman said "There's no discount for the holes." I mentioned that I used to operate the machine that drilled holes in acoustic tiles. He said "I bet that was a boring job". He was in full dad mode.
On the first day of the cruise, we were required to attend an emergency drill called a "muster drill." The crew members that demonstrate the steps for us to take are called "musters."
My uncle asked the muster, "So what do you do when you're not a muster?"
My grandfather replied for her with, "She's a ketchup!"
All the dads in the room chuckled.
So at my internship I have to go through these massive cabinets and sort out hundreds of drills, endmills, boring bars etc. While I was finishing a tray of tap drills my boss comes up and says "Are you having any fun yet?" Without a beat I say "Honestly I'm about ready to tap out..." I could hear his groan above the noise of the machines in the shop.
After drilling a hole, inserting the plastic sleeve, then driving a philips head to attach the nanny cam securely to the wall in our baby's room...
Wife: "Good job! You nailed it!"
Me: "Actually honey, I screwed it."
I'm with my dad watching a horror flick when a scene comes on where a woman gets drilled in the head. Me: Oh man that was crazy! Dad: Yeah, she really got screwed! Chuckles ensued.
My dad bought a new tool set and was putting all the tools in their place and he ended up saying this.
"Wow a hex key set, a drill bit set, and even a driver bit set. I guess you could say I'm set"
*Cue knee slapping and laughter
texted my dad "A nice Vietnam Vet just bought me a drill set!"
Dad: "He must have been a good man in Nam, and it sounds like he's a good man now. Looks like he hasn't changed a BIT!"
My dad was drilling a hole in his bathroom cabinet to add a handle.
Dad: "I don't think I was supposed to do that..."
Me: "Do what?"
Dad: "What are you a background singer now?"
Took me a second but I can't stop laughing now!
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