I tried donating to the itty-bitty titty committee...
But they don't really need the support
π︎ 230
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state of the art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
Theyβre calling it Mercedes-clenz
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Iβm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 18 2019
What do you call donating a chair?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 27 2020
Iβve been donating a lot of dining room sets to people in need lately.
I guess Iβm just feeling very chairtable.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 17 2020
Donating a kidney makes you somebody's hero.
Donating 5 makes you a suspect
π︎ 64
π
︎ May 09 2019
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
I'm never donating blood again. They ask too many questions.
Why do they want to know where I got it from? Or why it's in bucket?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
I told my buddy Iβd be donating to teamtrees but I only had tree dollars
He said heβs still rooting for me though.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
Im donating to people suffering because of seating
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 25 2018
I am donating liver to a Redditor who was in need
Guess you could say
(β’β’) / ( β’β’)>ββ‘-β‘ / (ββ‘_β‘)
OP De-livered
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Not ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^actually
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jan 13 2016
Just got done donating blood...
...I would say camping was a suck-sess again this year.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 17 2017
I find donating plasma, exhilarating.
It really gets the blood flowin'.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 10 2018
Hey guys, please consider donating to the narcolepsy awareness founnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 01 2013
My colleague busted out some grade A Dad jokes on my JustGiving page. (I am donating my hair to charity)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 11 2014
Donating Blood
after i finish
Nurse: how do you feel?
me: Drained.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 21 2014
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is
He replied " I am probably a Type O"
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
π︎ 86
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
π︎ 307
π
︎ Mar 06 2021
What is the organ donation center called in England?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy
You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket
π︎ 38
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
I went to donate blood and the clinician asked, βWould you like to lay down?β
I told them I was inclined to it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
Why donβt crabs and lobsters donate to charity?
Because theyβre shellfish.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
Does anyone know if it's possible to have a skin graft taken from a buttock to donate to someone who isn't a relative?
π︎ 124
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
I won $6million in the lottery and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity....
I now have $5.999,999,75c left.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
I just donated to this group which helps out stray cats...
I guess I'm a feline-thropist now.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
When you die and donate you body to science...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
At the local donation center, only one guy donated anything, and it was a box of poop!
But hey, at least he gave a shit.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
A monastery in Las Vegas kept getting chips in their donation box
It got so frustrating they decided to hire a chipmunk
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.
So, I handed him a glass of water.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I gave my wife a check from my plasma donations. She threw it back at me
She told me to keep my blood money
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and youβre a total hero.
But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
I won a $1million in the lottery last night and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have 999.999.75 left.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...
I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
During an organ donation how do doctors decide which kidney to pick?
They pick the right one.
That way there's still one left
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
I donated almost 50.000$ to a charity for mute children
They didnβt even say βThank youβ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
I donated to a local clinic.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life
Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not
credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
I recently had a fellow knocking door to door asking for donations for our local pool...
I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
A man once donated his own liver to someone in need.
Hey may not be alive, but he was delivered.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
A wife says to her husband: "Honey, I want to donate my clothes to people who are starving."
The husband replys: "Debra whoever receives your clothes surely won't be starving."
(I apologise if this has already been posted, I just heard my dad say it to me today.)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they donβt have to be put down.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
When you donate food to a church...
π︎ 46
π
︎ May 21 2020
If Morgan Freeman pledges to donate his organs after death, his name after he dies will be M Freeman.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
Some boy scouts came to our house today and asked for donations for a local community pool being built.
I went and got them a glass of water.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 14 2020
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck drivers they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...
How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
If I had $1,000,000, Iβd donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then Iβd have $999,999.75.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jul 06 2018
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to a blood donation clinic.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
What do you call an organ donation center in England?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
When you die and donate your body to science...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
A man knocked on my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming pool...
So I gave him a glass of water...
π︎ 87
π
︎ May 23 2020
I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.
He hasnβt responded yet, but when he does Iβll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
