What do you call a snake that works for the government?
What do you call a calculator that works instantly?
What do you call a dinosaur that works out?
Why do pizza makers go to work everyday?
What do you call a chicken who works at a bar?
Why do we base our work around 7 days instead of a fortnight?
Because working for a fortnight would make everyone too weak.
Where do penguins sit at work?
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
My friend works in IT and I asked him, “How do you make a motherboard?”
He said, “I usually tell her about my job.”
I can’t do good work in Excel without getting compliments,
I really need the validation.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
What do lawyers wear to work?
What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?
Yeah, I work out. I do one sit-up every day.
When I get up in the morning, that’s half. When I lie back down at night, that’s the other half.
What do you call it when you do your work on a shelf
What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?
What do you call a woman who works in a sunbed salon?
Do you know why table cloths are the work of the devil?
Because they are made of satin
Ba-dum-tssss
What do you call it when a transgender interpreter is late to work?
What do you call someone who works part time on a train?
A person asked a mailman, “why do you work as a mailman, it gives so little money?”
The mailman responds “It’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message”
What do you you call a dog that works in roofing
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work. I got chatting to him, and it turns out he is a pilot on furlough, earning a bit of cash.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
Chinese restaurants do not get enough appreciation for all the work that they do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to teach a chicken how to fry?
How do dishes work together so well?
What do you call a hobbit that works in advertising ?
I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.
He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.
The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.
He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
What do you call a delivery driver who exclusively works with Indian restaurants?
Why do guns only work when they are fired.
Please help. I am tired but I can't fall asleep. I need the ultimate answer.
Wife: I’m not in the mood to do my homework. Me: Just phone it in and do C-work. Wife: I don’t know how to do C-Work.
Me: step 1, buy a boat.
Just happened. Not an official dad yet but she’s 6 months pregnant. Got to get the practice in while I can.
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?
How do you know the work week will get even crazier after Monday and Tuesday?
Because all that's left is WTF.
What do you call a cow that works out?
Beefy
- my 15 year old daughter trying to emulate my sense of humor.
What do you call a pansexual man named nick who works at a cd store?
Wife (we both live in the US): I have to make sure my work phone is on do not disturb mode before bed so I don’t get email notifications from co-workers in our office in Europe.
Me: Sure, because when they send email, they don’t care if you’re up.
What do you call it when Apple forces children in China to work for minimum wage?
What do lawyers wear to work everyday?
What do you call a place where annelids work out?
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
What do you call a woman who works in a suntan salon ?
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?
What do you call a calculator that works instantly?
What do you call a can opener that doesn‘t work?
We’ve just had a decorator in to do some work on the house. I got chatting to him and it turns out he is a British Airways pilot who’s been furloughed and earning a bit of extra cash.
He made a lovely job of the landing.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with one leg work?
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