What do you call a teenager who never grows up?
My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
What do u call an angle that was beaten up?
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...
"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
“Because they have no balls to scratch”
What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse's a**?
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because dawn is tough on Greece.
what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?
What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?
Yeah, I work out. I do one sit-up every day.
When I get up in the morning, that’s half. When I lie back down at night, that’s the other half.
What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble
A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat?"
The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I don't know if it's here or not."
How do you wake Lady Gaga up?
You po-po-po-poke her face!
What do you call a waterfall that goes up instead of down ?
What do you call a duck that won’t shut up?
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Because they’re ugly and they stink.
What do you call a bee dressed up as a ghost?
Steven, he works in Accounting.
What do you call a baguette up your butt
My 11yo daughter just made up a joke. What do politicians thing of themselves?
That they're politicool...
Im biased but i think its genius
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
What do you call an Irishman trying to break up a fight?
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
What do you call it when people in Russia are split up?
What do you call a horse that’s up to no good?
What do you call a chord that has its third moved up a half-step?
Why do so many people hook up drunk?
Beauty must really be in the eye of the beerholder
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
What do you call someone who can conjure up compressed files?
What do volunteers clean up outside of libraries?
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:
What’s up with ghosts haunting people? Aren’t there more interesting things to do in the afterlife? [OC]
Why do the police show up early to peaceful protest?
They like to beat the crowds.
My 9yr old came up with: How do you greet someone who is laughing quietly?
What do you call a boxer that got beat up?
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up?
Because they have no balls to scratch!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Why do the people of Athens not wake up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to IKEA.
What do you call an Irishman trying to break up a fight?
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early ?
Because dawn is tough on Greece
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