A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
Do you know why it's difficult to read what is on my Samsung phone's screen from 20 feet?
Because it's on a Galaxy far, far away.
Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you don’t turn your back on family.
What do you call it when too many people become stupid all at once?
What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants in quicksand?
I can do calf raises just by mooving it.
Do you know which Knight it was who came up with the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
(My dad's a math teacher)
what do you call it when apes battle?
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
What do you call the mailman when it's a woman?
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?
It finds the nearest skyscraper.
How do you call it when Superman is unable to do something?
What do you call an IT teacher who has an inappropriate relationship with a student?
What do you call it when a Gun gives birth to a Monkey
A Chimp off the old Glock
What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
What do you say to a monkey with bananas in its ears?
Anything, because it can’t hear you.
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
What do you call it when a Mexican man takes medicines for his anxiety
Hispanic attacks his panic attacks
What do you call it when a tiny Humpty Dumpty is saying derogatory things in a Slavic language?
Why do we pronounce it “Bri’ish”?
Because we drank the tea!
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
What do you call it when you accidentally miss the exit for your camp ground?
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
What did the grape do when it was stepped on?
It let out a little whine.
What do you call it when two earthworms hate each other?
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
What does a CIA agent do when it's time for bed?
Nothing I can do about it
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return, no matter how you throw it?
I don't know, but I'm tired of getting hit with these bananas!
What do you call it when an inmate takes his own mugshot?
My friend works in IT and I asked him, “How do you make a motherboard?”
He said, “I usually tell her about my job.”
What do you call it when the many daughters of your sibling make you breakfast meat patties?
What do you call it when you poop backwards?
Don't do it
What happened when Pepper made Salt angry?
- Pepper was charged with aggravated assault. XD
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
The more I think about counterfeiting coins, the more I think I’m going to do it.
What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" I chuckled, "No son, it wouldn't be right." He sighed...
"Well, at least you could try."
what did the lumberjack do when it got dark?
He took his axe and saw.
Edit: spelling.
What do you call a fly that lost it's wings...
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.
What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes?
what do you call it when apes battle?
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