"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" I chuckled, "No son, it wouldn't be right." He sighed...
"Well, at least you could try."
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
My wife said, “I can’t seem to find my datebook. Do you know where it is?”
I said, “Sounds like... you have a hidden agenda.”
Do you know there’s a flagpole which is 171m tall in Saudi Arabia? I can’t wrap my head around it.
I mean seriously, my arms are not long enough. Let alone my head.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
What do you call a homing pigeon that can’t find its way home?
Never let anyone tell you what can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven, everyone told him he wouldn't make it as a musician.
Fred: Can you tell me about that new do-it-yourself orthodontist?
What do you call it when a farmer is stuck in his house and can’t get out to the fields?
What do you call it when you’re so drunk that you can’t speak?
After all the hard work i put in, It's the least you can do
What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors anymore?
This one made me proud as a dad. My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with it: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?
An askhole.
I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.
I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.
We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.
What do you call it when a light bulb is falling into a trash can?
"What car do you have, Pierre? Can I borrow it?"
What do you call it when you can’t sleep and your hungry
What do you call it when a snake can't shed it's skin?
Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.
Me: What did you do at work today? Dad: Just did some shitty design. Me: Can I see it? Dad:
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?
What do you call it when a shephard can't find his ram?
What do you call it when the Queen can see the future?
What do you call it when a can of soup eats another can of soup?
There's an email going around offering free processed pork gelatin and salt in a can, if you get this email, do not open it!
Dad: I can’t believe you bought me a house! Son: You’re welcome. How do you like it?
Dad: I’m going to live in the present.
Wanted to measure my height with a tape measure but couldn't do it alone. "Dad, can I borrow you for a minute?"
"Sure, as long as you give me back"
What do you call it when a pirate can't sit still?
What do you call a bee who can't maker up its mind?
Do you think a child that can always predict whats in a gift by shaking it has
What do you call it when an officer can't sleep?
What do you call prey that can outrun it's predator?
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
Do you know what Murphy's Law is? It says that "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." Do you know what Cole's Law is?
What do you call a chameleon who can't change it's color anymore?
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right."
"Well, at least you could try."
What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colours anymore?
What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors?
What do you call it when a chameleon can’t change colours?
"Dad, can you do my math homework for me?" "No son, it wouldn't be right."
"Well, at least you could try."
What do you call it when the Italian mafia bribes the judges of the Tony awards so they can control who wins?
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
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