The chef who invented deep fried cheese said...
The idea just a curd to him....
What do you call a dentist who's a deep thinker?
Hey, do you guys want to hear something really deep?
Definitely the most impressive performer at the circus today was a lady who could deep-throat anything from scissors, staplers, stilts, screwdrivers, spectacles, and saucepans.
She’s a professional s-word swallower.
When I was feeling sad, my friend told me "It could be worse. At least you aren't stuck at the bottom of a deep hole filled with water."
Chuck Norris once got bit by a king cobra.
After 3 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Ever heard of the movie Constipation?
That’s cause it hasn’t come out yet.
Edit: told to me by my 10 yo son yesterday. I couldn’t hold it in, so had to share.
Needed a wee at the pool today, so I just did it in the deep end.
Life guard noticed and blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.
why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
One day we're going to have time machines and it'll mess up the world...
And we'll go "I wish I could go back to a time before time machines"
Did Adam and Eve have a date together?
My brother tells me things aren’t so bad, we could be trapped in a hole filled with water
Never challenge death to a pillow fight
You won’t be able to handle the reaper cushions
No matter where you swim in the ocean
you will be two feet below sea level.
A blind Egyptian walking through the desert suddenly feels his feet are wet.
"This must be a mirage, there is no water in the desert"
He was in denial.
A friend of mine was bragging about digging three deep holes in the ground
Me: Geez Dr., deep vein thrombosis? That doesn’t sound good.
Dr: You’re right, I was always more of a trumpet guy myself.
What's the best way to cut driftwood?
Why was the archeologist so depressed ?
Because his whole life was in ruins.
My son told me he's cold, so I told him to stand in the corner.
What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?
Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
I’m studying to be an archaeologist.
I guess you could say that my life is in ruins.
Yes, 10 was scared because 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
His doctor told him to eat 3^(2) meals a day.
Why are Dentists' graves hard to find?
Did you hear about the actress that just got stabbed?
I think her name was Reece
Why did the whale blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
I’m glad I know sign language….
Why did the man write his novel in his basement?
He wanted it to become a Best Cellar
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
Daughter (playing video game): I have a chest to store things
Me(dad): I mostly just store air in mine
pause
Me: inhale deep
Me: when I breathe
Daughter: groan
What's Santa's favorite pizza?
One that's deep-pan, crisp and even
What’s long and goes deep?
Today I found out that scuba and tuba are acronyms
Scuba stands for self contained underwater breathing apparatus. And tuba stands for terrible underwater breathing apparatus.
I waded ankle deep into a Parisian river in February. My buddy asked me, “Are you crazy?”
“No,” I replied, I’m just a little in Seine!
My buddy was telling me a girl turned him down because he won't swim in the deep end of a pool
People said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now.
What do Australians say when they see a big, deep pond that they’re really fond of?
Why do scuba divers always dive backwards?
Because if they dive forward they’ll hit the boat.
I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig...
The poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep.
Did You Hear About The Miner Who Was A Philosopher?
They Say He Was Very Deep
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