Deep pun
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tomer149
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Deep very deep.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Two skunks were named In and Out. One day, In went missing. Even though he was deep in the forest, Out found him right away. When asked how he did it, Out replied

"In stinked"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My hand slipped off the handle of the casket while carrying it to the hearse and left a deep bruise on my leg.

I was appalled.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop that’s included.

Man I’m glad that’s out of the whey.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Just a moment ago, my hands began to convulse, my fingernails turned into sharp talons, my palms became thick, hairy, and tough. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and the feeling went away

I just had two paws for a moment

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
About 1 foot deep
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightshade111
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Women are like the ocean. Vast,deep, and beautiful...

And once a month... It’s shark week.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How did God make sure Adam had a deep masculine laugh?

He gave him 2 test tickles

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Well well well..
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
An old friend once told me he hopes I fall into a deep hole filled with water. .

But I know he means well.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benstrosity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Research paper: Dad Jokes and the Deep Roots of Fatherly Teasing

A Danish scientist has delved into the roots of silly, fatherly, humour and come up with a possible explanation

https://psyarxiv.com/r9mhc/

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirito_santo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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How do you get a farm girl to like you?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a retired miner?

Doug.

πŸ‘︎ 996
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualAustralian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall into the well?

Because he couldn't see that well

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotallyUnassuming
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I once went to a city with a culture based on swimming to deep places

It had lots of diversity

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiinm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the old lady fall down the well?

She didn’t see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pratik007789
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I couldn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve?

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the musician bad at deep sea fishing?

Because he can tuna piano but he can't tuna fish

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I kept telling my brother not to put the Q-tip in too deep, but he never listens to my words.

It goes into one ear, and out the other.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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What do you call it when you catch a fish on every cast while deep sea fishing?

A-fish-in-sea

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyMadeThis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Every Friday for dinner, I make everything deep fried

I call it Deep Fry-day

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Penewine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal

He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.

I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
If humans were trees, how deep would the roots be ?

Two feet.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Cross post from r/puns. She said I’m stupid, but deep down I know she was laughing. /r/puns/comments/k7lvpx/m…
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketCornbread
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after giving my first lesson.

Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I had to quit my job as a deep sea diver instructor.

The pressure was too much.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
We never listen

I wrote my girlfriend a complex poem on a piece of Kleenex. But as it turns out, it was a deep tissue massage that she wanted, not a deep tissue message.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigelito
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
This is so deep πŸ₯Ί
πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brittondylan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
About bill and melinda

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce She gets the house and He gets the Windows!

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring. The main reason she divorced Bill Gates because he was in Office365 days.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend’s mom is so deep in denial.

She might as well be Egyptian.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RicanSlayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill

So I sent him a "get well soon" card

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that lawyers are buried 12 feet deep when they die?

Apparently deep down they are good people.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BKFKHC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Beer time

I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berryville_con
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
They found an alien deep underground

It was inside this world!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnknownFor3818
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My publicist spent today taking photos of me deep within a dark cavern.

She assured me the photos would receive high exposure.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannysilver90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."

i know he means well.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
my friend just told me, 'I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water'.

I know he means well.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell in a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.

The woman asked the doctor about the baby.

The doctor: Congratulations. You had twins, both boys. They're both fine. And your brother named them a for you.

Woman: No. No. No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name them?

Doctor: He named one of them Pete, after your deceased father as he told me.

Woman: Oh that's actually a very nice name. What did he name the other boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs RePete.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily your brother named them for you. Woman: oh no, not my brother, what an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy? Doctor: Denephew.

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6Bazrael66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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