Customer Account Puns

Now, I'm no sophisticate, so it shouldn't surprise you to learn that I can't speak a lick of French. Knowing this would pose some problems at a French restaurant, I made my illiteracy abundantly clear to our server before hand. So I requested him to be a little more patient with our table on account of my being an uncultured oaf.

Straight away, I had difficulties locating the apps on the menu, which, let me add, was entirely in French. Hoping that our server might give me a hand, I asked him if he could point out where I could find the appetisers on the menu. Instead of answering my sincere question, the waiter tapped the menu rather briskly and said, "Order". Slightly taken aback, I replied, "Pardon?". "ORDER", came the brusque reply. Now, I'm not particularly clever in tense situations, so I repeated the question again, hoping for a slightly more helpful answer. For some reason, our waiter took particular offense at this, and went, "ORDERV, ORDERV, READ THE DAMN MENU. WE HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS TOO, YOU KNOW!". Now, I'm not a particularly prideful person, but even I have some dignity, so we thanked the waiter and excused ourselves.

TLDR; Our rude waiter kept ordering me, an idiot, to order off the menu, instead of telling us where the goddamn appetisers were.

Dealing with home services and customers, need to check ID. Routine ID check and I though the customer's name was Irene so I say "Ok Irene, let's get into your account here..."

Icene: "It's Icene"
Me: "Oh wow, really? double checks ID Wow! That's wicked, I've never heard that name before that's really interesting!"
pause
Me: "Well... I guess, now Icene it."

Icene groans, and my coworker and his customer start laughing, and I couldn't help but smile :D