What do you call a Cruise liner full of academics?
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.
It's an exclusive member ship.
I knew everyone on my cruise
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor store, what would he call it?
Did you know in Germany the Tom Cruise movie ‘The Firm’ is the sequel to Die Hard?
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
Whats it like working on a cruise ship?
It has it's ups and downs
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.
I said, “Don’t worry. We are all in the same boat.”
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
My friend said we are cancelling the cruise
I said “knot on my watch!”
I just bought a cruise vacation!
Couldn't help it. It was too good of a sail.
I ask my friends if they wanted to go on a cruise this summer.
Did you hear about the cruise ship that got stuck in the Panama Canal with dead people aboard?
They're in a die-er strait.
Ad by a Scandinavia cruise ship
My flat-earth cruise to Antarctica was cancelled
It was disappointing, but not the end of the world.
What do potheads like drink while on cruise ships?
My wife was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise.
I said “Don’t worry we’ll all be in the same boat”
I just read that the Carnival cruise ship "Glory" crashed into the Carnival cruise ship "Legend"
It left a legendary glory hull
What is the best kind of joke to tell on a cruise ship?
What is it called when a bunch of carpenters and masons on the cruise?
If Tom Cruise and Terry Crews sold tickets for a meet and greet on a Ship headed for Mexico, they'd advertise the Cruise-Crews Cruise to Veracruz.
Tom Cruise is minute.
That's what I named my pet Amphibian.
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"
"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."
Apple have cancelled thier planned cruise ship, the iTanic.
Apparently it kept synching when docked
Edit: I know spelling of 'their' is wrong. Cannot be changed.
I took a group of flat-earthers on a cruise all the way around Antarctica...
they were disappointed, but it wasn’t the end of the world.
My mate secretly booked a cruise for me in the world's longest river.
I'm completely in the Nile.
Why can Tom Cruise never lose?
Because Submission impossible
My friend met the love of his life when the were both vomiting overboard after a rhinovirus hit their cruise ship...
It was a match made in heaving!
I was so happy when my toddler reached out and tried to touch Tom Cruise.
He's already reaching for the stars.
Our room number on the cruise was U2
We still haven’t found what we’re looking for
Saw what appeared to be the captain of our cruise ship at dinner
While on a cruise a few months ago, my wife, another couple and I were eating dinner in one of the fancier restaurants. We saw someone in uniform (who looked like the captain) eating dinner with a few others nearby.
Our friend asked "if that's the captain, then who's driving the boat?"
My response, "it's fine, he's got it on cruise control"
Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?
It’s called Bisquey Ritzness
As a dyslexic, having autocorrect is both a blessing and a cruise.
Did you hear about the wine enthusiasts atttacking a cruise ship recently...?
....I heard they were sommelier pirates!
It was silly of Tom Cruise to put his best pistol on the highest shelf
He’s too short to reach the top gun
Eating on a cruise with my gf...
A bunch of kids were in the dining hall at the windows yelling about dolphins outside the ship, they were super excited; it's all they talked about and all they did.
I looked at my gf and said, "you'd think these kids' lives lacked any porpoise..."
Did you hear about the red cruise ship and blue cruise ship that collided in the Caribbean?
The survivors were marooned.
Did you guys know that, in Germany, the Tom Cruise 'The Firm' is actually just the Die Hard sequel?
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor company
Would it be a Whiskey Business?
My wife was nervous about meeting new people on our cruise.
I said, “Don’t worry, we are all in the same boat.”
My wife was so nervous about meeting other people on our cruise.
I said, “Don’t worry, we are all in the same boat.”
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