I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"
The camp goers are pretty intense.
The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."
Clearly did a good job, because I didn't care
"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
Because I open so many doors for them
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
He was a consummate professional
I nodded and said, "You know what I mean, Vern?"
My wife didn't get it, but the counselor and I couldn't stop laughing.
Our appointment was at 3, but she was running late. We had waited almost a half hour when she greeted us.
She said "I'm sorry, something unexpected came up."
To which I replied "Was it a pregnancy?"
I knocked on the door and his wife answered. She told me that Mick was in the barn so I went around back to find him.
I opened the door to the barn and to my complete horror, Mick was pole dancing in a leotard on a combine harvestor
Me: What the hell are you doing??
Mick: Well, you know how my wife and I have been having marriage problems. We went to go see a counselor and he said to put some spice back in the relationship i had to do something sexy to a tractor.
He explained that he went to a marriage counselor because mom didn't want to be intimate anymore. The counselor told him he should do something sexy to attract her.
The Korea Counselor
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Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs
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Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov
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Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide
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Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore
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Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
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Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood
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Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass
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Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout
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Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder
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Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing
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Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors
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Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz
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Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff
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Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer
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Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket
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Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales
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Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz
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Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz
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Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive
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Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall
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Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov
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Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods
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Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy
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Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling
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Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot
Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits
Counselor: "Juan Hernandez?"
Friend: "Two Hernandez..."
My guidance counselor said I was an expert in my field, so I became a farmer.
I didnt know she sold flowers
That guy was good.
