School counselor Puns

Hi Mr. M,

Remember me? I'm the kid that you told as a freshman to "start looking for college alternatives because I wouldn't be smart enough to make it". Doesn't ring a bell? How about the time you told me to stop being overdramatic when I came to you to talk about stress from my course load and my parents' divorce. No? Well anyways, from the bottom of my heart fuck you. I did get accepted into college no thanks to your help and am proud to be attending the University of Michigan. I don't know how you became certified to be a school counselor, but I do know you're one of the worst possible people that could've gotten the job and I hope you lose it immediately.

Best wishes,

beefrare

“I can prove you wrong” is what he whispered to me after I told him I’m a lesbian.

When I was about 12 years old, a new girl joined my class in school (this was after my mother divorced my narcissist father).

The girl quickly became obsessed with me. Everybody knew she "fell in love" with me. I did not like her at all. I was always trying to do my best to avoid her.

But the fact that she was pursuing me and I was avoiding her was the biggest entertainment attraction in my class.

Kids were locking me in a room with her, catching me outside of school and bringing her to speak to me, everybody was laughing at the situation I was trying to avoid. It lasted for a whole year. They loved to witness my efforts to escape shaming.

My twin brother was in the same class, so he played a huge role in the "effectiveness" of bullying and shaming - he knew my routes from school to home, so he used the knowledge against me. Also he was gossiping nasty things about me at school.

The school counselor knew about the situation.

During one of the "Psychology" classes she made all the kids to sit in a circle on chairs. And then she put 2 chairs in the middle of the circle.

She told the girl that was obsessed with me to sit on one chair and told me to sit on the other chair.

Everyone (including the counselor) were laughing, waiting for the fun of my and the girl's humiliation.

And then the counselor with a smirk told me and the girl: "Go on, communicate now. And we will observe". Everyone kept laughing.

I did not know what to do. And I could not escape. I don't remember for how long this lasted (probably about 15 minutes), but after this bullies (including my brother) were using this event of public humiliation against me again and again. They felt the blood and they found my vulnerability.

I could not share it with anyone at home, because there always been a hostile environment. I was raised by our grandmother. Brother was alwasy trying to shame me. Mom was always absent, she did not know anything.

Now I have very bad social anxiety. I did not have any friends, sex or relationships until I was 27. I have always been isolated and lonely. Completely depressed.

Now I understand that one of the most hurtful things that lead to CPTSD is:

1. Inability to avoid damaging situations

2. Inability to protect yourself

3. Inability to get protection from someone else

all at the same time - for long periods of time.

Trauma is not only about single damaging events or physical obvious abuse.

It's also about the atmosphere of shame, danger, hopeless

just pure pain because i can’t even go because of money 🥲

make me love university of pittsburgh everybody :(

TW:Potential depression, mentions of self harm(not really tbh)/suicidal thoughts,panic attack,childhood trauma,mild swearing

Sorry yea this gonna be a bit hard to piece together cause all my thoughts are a mess but I really need advice on this.Im also not diagnosed so I can't specifically say I am depressed or having panic attacks but it's the closest I can describe it.Sorry again.

Since JC started,so much has happened,not even sure how my CT(basically a form teacher) linked my "lack of interest" into involving the year head and vice principal trying to "stop me from committing suicide" or some shit like that.Im tired of constantly trying to prove to them that I won't try anything but they keep assuming I will.Currently I have to see the assistant year head every Friday to show that I'm still alive and not self-harming(I don't self harm).I can't let my abusive parents know about any of this either cause they are one of the problems that made me like this.

So yea recently what happened(like last Monday) is the assistant year head asking me to meet her somewhere else instead of the concourse but instead it kind of fucked me up.Locking me inside a room,trying to force me to sign this agreement stating not to self harm but I have to see the counselor.Not sure why,but seeing the counselor requires parental consent,which isn't something I want, obviously.Despite my repeated attempts to tell her I won't sign it because of that specific part(where parental consent is needed),she insisted that I was "threatening" her for making it sound as if "if you make me sign this agreement I'll kill myself"(that's what she assumed and said that I actually said that,mild gaslighting tbh) but basically yea I couldn't take it anymore and had a panic attack so she gave up and let me leave.In the end I basically rejected signing the agreement so she thinks I still self harm.(I still don't)

Anyways yea last Friday I still met her cause I didn't want any trouble and she tried to push her agreement for me to sign but at that point I just told her to drop it and she eventually did but still encouraged me to see the school counselor.According to her I could see them at least once without parental consent but I'm not sure if I should take her offer cause of how she hurt me emotionally and I don't know whether to trust her.

(I should put this in another rant but like eh simplified)Ngl I'm getting burnt out because every break I have is wasted seeing either the year head,assistant yea

i’m watching operation varsity blues on netflix and that school counselor picked up on something suspicious real quick unlike the other college admins who failed to fact check their students 😐

To give you a reference to the timeframe: I attended high school when 9/11 happened. We were all afraid a plane was going to crash into our school. Panic abound, but ill-informed considering our school was garbage and on the West Coast. Anyway...

My senior year was rough. By the second semester I was sleeping on a recliner in the living room of a friend's one-bedroom apartment, working nearly full-time at a movie theater (so late nights with little sleep and $0.25 over minimum wage), and surviving on ramen and microwave pot pies (actually still love those). The cherry on top was my girlfriend of two years breaking up with me. I was fed up with how life was going, and high school dropped significantly from my priorities.

Eventually, I decided getting my GED would be the best course of action, allowing me to get a second job and/or start taking college classes. I was already accepted to the local community college and preparing to register for classes. Not being in high school would make so many things better for me.

The next day I schedule some time with my counselor, Mr. Dope (because he was awesome; don't know if he dabbled in the mare-ih-ju-ahna, though). Keep in mind that up to this point we never had to speak because I was a fairly good student with a 3.4 GPA, and really good at avoiding trouble (not that I wasn't causing any). After the initial pleasantries, this was the conversation:

Me: I would like to know what steps I need to take to drop out and get my GED.

Mr. Dope: Why? There are only a few months left and your grades are good. You are on track to graduate.

Me: I really don't have the time (insert second paragraph).

Mr. Dope, taking a few moments to compose his sentence properly: Well, in order to graduate you need to pass English and Economics...

Me: I'm doing fine in those classes, but the others are just a drain on my time.

Mr. Dope: Let me say it again: you ONLY have to pass English and Economics.

Me, trying to piece together the simple puzzle: So, like, I only have to attend those two classes?

Mr. Dope: You ONLY have to pass English and Economics.

Insert me asking more clarifying questions, and him trying to avoid telling me I can be truant and graduate. Truancy wasn't a problem because I was 18 and allowed to sign myself out of school. I gleefully walked out of his office and off to figure out exactly how I was going to play this.

My school was on a block schedule, meaning we attended 3 classes Monday-Thursday, and all

Bruh I will literally throw hands with all these admissions counselors. Holistic evaluation is BS. But if you beat the game and got into one of your target schools, I’m genuinely happy for you.

On a serious note: Not to be full of myself, I really don’t even know how this happened to me and many other applicants. Like I tried shotgunning hoping for at least 1 acceptance other than my safety, and I couldn’t pull through despite applying to 12 schools. I know that I’m not at the very top of the bunch, but I had a pretty damn competitive app and I feel as though everyone at this level of competitiveness got screwed this year. We just sitting here like bruh “none of you guys could spare me a seat in CO 2025???” Who tf are these people who got into T20s?? Give me their phone numbers, I could learn a thing or two from these people cus they must have transcended the human race to even get in this year....

I went into college apps knowing that no one is entitled to shit in this process but I guess I had a false hope that you could at least attempt to earn it. I slaved my essays, stayed motivated during senior year, grinded harder than ever but ig brute force just doesn’t work sometimes.

Hi everyone, I've read a lot about overburdened guidance counselors so I was curious to see what resources they are using to support students. Any comments around how they are used would be great too. Thanks in advance!

I’m going to grad school for school counseling and I desperately want to be there for kids that are struggling with their identity and allow them to have an adult to talk to about lgbt+ issues but I’m worried that it wouldn’t go over well to have a faculty member be openly gay in a (probably) high school.

I live and plan on working in Tennessee and there was a teacher fired from my middle school (in 2009 I think) for being gay and parents complaining and such. I don’t know how laws have changed, but I’m very scared of that happening to me or having parents complain if they somehow find out.

And for some reason my English teacher came up to me today and asked if I was gonna commit??? somebody's a snitch 🤡

update: i told my best friend about my acceptance a few min ago and she said "oh yeah i heard" ???????? from who???? huh??????

I have my first phone call interview Tuesday and was wondering what some common questions or scenarios are that they ask about! Thanks :)

As if these people have ever done anything for me these past 4 years😂 these bitches don’t even know my name. They didn’t even know I applied💀

Just end me already

The school counselor a couple weeks ago threw a brick of stickynotes at my head. I'm not sure why but it was probably because I was talking bad about myself. However since then I have refused to talk to her. Even if she says hi or whatever I just ignore her. However today she came into class to ask my teacher for something and on her way out she asked me to step out and talk to her for a minuate. I asked her if there would be any repercussions if I didn't go out to talk with her. She told me that no there wouldn't be. I then asked if what she wanted to talk about could be summed up with me being a spiteful asshole. She said ok and stormed out. Am I in the wrong for responding the way that I did?

He got into Caltech and another school early round!

All of our counselors told him not to bother applying to top schools because he’s not a legacy or URM, so he would never stand a chance. They said it was a waste of time for him to apply as an unhooked applicant, as he would have to get in solely based on merit, which is very difficult given the strength of the unhooked applicant pool especially. But he did the impossible. Not only has he gotten into 2 top schools. He’s done it as an unhooked applicant. He beat all the odds and got in purely based on the weight of his achievements.

I’m so proud of him!

i do not know how to feel

it's sad and funny at the same time, what do i do

I live in a relatively low-income neighborhood and as a result, our local schools, ESPECIALLY the high schools, are poorly managed. The teachers don’t know the topic, the principal doesn’t EVER speak with the students, and the counselors, well, they do jack-shit.

But let me tell you what led to my little confrontation with my counselor. You see, I’m in a video-making class, and the teacher is below mentally inept, sometimes I question if he has anything other than air in that arrogant high-ego head of his. So we were working on scripts for our latest project, and I turned mine in. I TURNED MINE IN. Great, it should be an easy 90-100.

That’s what I thought, until I checked my grades. It was sitting at a 0! This brought my grade down from a 97 to an 84. Worse of all, grades were due in 30 minutes, and once they lock, they lock for good. Quickly, I emailed my teacher, but it was too late, because 30 minutes later nothing changed.

It turned out this was all because the program my teacher used to grade and the actual official place where you input the grades didn’t sync correctly, it wasn’t my fault. It was the teacher’s for not double checking. Outraged, I went to my see my counselor at lunch.

I walk in, say hi and act over-the-top respectful, and then tell her about the situation. She sat there in front of me and said, “That’s not my job, next time I need you to read what I can actually do.” Wtf? Doesn’t even offer to help or give who I have to contact? I went off, I stood up, and went into a rant that was a little like this:

“Oh, so you think it’s okay to sit around here everyday, stuffing your face with donuts, acting as a bureaucratic nobody? You have one job! Let me tell you what it is: Helping the students. I don’t need to read ANYTHING to know that. Yet somehow you still manage to mess that up. You weren’t elected into your position, nobody even knows who you are, yet when we come to you for help, you think you can sit all high and mighty and turn a blind eye? Go f*ck yourself if you can find the time, since you’re allegedly so busy working!”

Crazy right? I remember each moment vividly. I mean, I thought I was giving a speech to the likes of some of the dictators in the mock-gov r/WeeklyDictator. I stormed out, a little embarrassed because I knew I was going to be the one getting f*cked over since I spoke the truth. Everyone was thinking it, I just said it. Either way, I went to my next class only to get called into the hall by some teacher. O

I am a recent college graduate looking to understand the difference between a school psychologist and a school counselor.

I'm thinking of going back to school to become either a school counselor OR a marriage and family therapist. To help make my decision I'm looking to hear the good, bad, and ugly about the day-to-day of the school counselor's life. Any opinions on why I should choose this track would also be very appreciated. TIA!

I’m a school counselor, first year. What types of information do you, as a counselor, share with school nurses? My school nurses have insisted I share info any time I feel a student has emotional issues. They also insist I need to share any time a student experiences a loss. Many have lost parents this year, and the nurses recently got upset and sent out a condescending email to several administrators about the issue saying we all need to work as a team.

Hi there, does anyone know the requirements and education you need to be a high school school counselor? I am in California.

Thanks in advance!

And the note said "Congratulations on getting into every college. You have so much to be proud of."

This comes after I find out I'm not graduating with honors, not getting my Associate's degree after being told I was, finding out prom is canceled for the second year in a row, and finding out graduation is virtual.

It's been easy to forget everything I've done to get here and not want to even go to graduation or any of the dumb online crap they're planning, but damn I did this, and so did you.

I've heard a lot of counselor horror stories, but I just wanted to share this. I've never met her in person, but she's been one of the best parts of high school. Thank you, Ms. K :)

I am 18 and did the remote school option for my last year of high school while most of my grade did school in person. Because I was online, I could go at my own pace and I finished both semesters in December so I am now finished with high school, way ahead of my class. I was never a fan of high school and I didn’t care for all the pep rallies and events. I don’t have any friends in my grade and don’t understand all the hype about Highschool. I am looking forward to college, as I will be moving away to Chicago and know that I will enjoy it a lot more than my high school years. I ordered my cap and gown awhile back, but now that a I think about it, I do not want to attend graduation. The school is already having the seniors pick up their real diplomas the week after graduation, so we won’t even be getting the real diploma at graduation. I already know I’m finished with high school and I have no reason to go to graduation now. How do I formally email my high school counselor to inform him that I do not want to attend? I don’t want to sound rude or disrespectful but the graduation ceremony isn’t for me. Can you help me write a sample email? Thanks!

I would greatly appreciate your honesty here... My first career was in fashion, then I was a stay-at-home mom, and now I would like to get my masters and become a school counselor. I am 43, so quite possible that I will be 47 when I go to look for my first job in this field. Obviously it is illegal to discriminate based on age, but is youth valued in a school counselor? I want to set myself up for success the best I can, given the hand I'm playing with. If you think there are other areas of counseling that would look more favorably on an old lady recent graduate, I'll love to know that before I start a program. Big thanks for any insight!

I mean it’s true, but ouch Edit: thanks for all the support guys. You’re right. Time to prove him wrong!

Hi there,

It has always been my dream to become a lawyer. However, as a first-generation American/college student and my parents and I don't really have the knowledge needed to know what it takes to get into the top law schools.

I am reaching out because I am interested in having guidance throughout the next four years of college about a various number of issues (what should I major in, what classes I should take in college, how to study for the LSAT, what extracurriculars to take, and when I get there: how to write my law school admission essays, etc.)

Does anyone know of any people/companies that provide this type of long term counseling?

Any help will be great!

Thanks

i sent a loci a while ago and i don't have any new updates but i've heard some people saying they got their counselor to call on their behalf and just like say good things about them? i've seen quite a few people say they did that but like is it weird or does anyone know if it would actually improve my chances?

Does anyone know where to find official salary listings for school counselors in the NOVA Area? Whenever I look on Fairfax County, Arlington etc. websites I can easily find salaries for teachers, admins, cafeteria staff but it seems impossible to find anything on school counselors. Any help would be appreciated.

I got a 1550 on the SAT and a 43/45 final IB1 results. My EC's are good with multiple leadership and volunteering. I am trying to get into either UC Berkeley, Stanford or CMU but I honestly have no idea about my choices. My counselor says that I should get into a mediocre school because I'll be a big fish in a small pond and i can get internships and research positions readily with low stress throughout my college life. Will this be a good plan? I want to major in CS and get into one of the tech companies like Amazon, google etc. Can you get jobs there by going to mediocre schools or do you need to get into an elite school?

It follows a school counselor who is telling this kid who doesn’t care about anything that the kid can’t continue down this road. The counselor himself draws many parallels to the kid.

Hello all,

Since the grad school program, I'll be attending is for 3-years, I've been thinking a lot lately about whether schools look for specific job experiences prior to becoming a school counselor. Currently, I work for a small educational company where they run summer programs through university partnerships, but I've been interested in trying to get into college counseling or educational consultant roles so I had more experience. Does it really matter where I work prior to becoming a counselor or not much at all?

Also, I'm mainly just focusing on trying to have a consistent income as possible so I can cash flow, my masters, pay off my remaining undergrad loans, and transition into a school counselor role. It can be a bit discouraging at times when looking for new jobs, I feel as though only tech positions are available and not many educational positions (unless you already have a master's & several years of experience). I hope you all are doing well and I appreciate any responses!

When I was like 11-12 I was very shy and introverted so when my new friend wanted me to do something I was a really big push over. One day during recess she told me to lay down in the grass and pretend to push while she held my hand and pretended to deliver a baby. Her and some guys were laughing so I went with it trying to make them laugh. After recess I got called to the counselors office. She started asking me if I was sexually active. I hadn't even had my first kiss yet and she was asking me if I had sex. I was so embarrassed. She questioned me on my home life, if anyone touches me and so on. I had completely forgot about this and it randomly popped into my head one day while I was smoking and I was just like damn... wtf.

Don't do it broski, Ive been there. Being one of the only mexicans in a predominantly white High School while having social anxiety my teachers encouraged me to talk to my counselor :D So I did! (This was in my freshman year and Im a senior now cringe) I talked to my counselor because my teacher was wondering why I was failing an "easy class" I talked to her and ended up spilling my guts and she just sat there, I will never forget the mortified look in her eyes when I started crying. I am a very sentimental person so talking about my feelings made me cry. She looked like she wanted to say that she is not a therapist and just told me to apply myself!!!!!! Every time this memory comes to mind I physically cringe, please tell me I am not the only one who did this, please even if you lie to me.

Hi! I (29/f) have generalized anxiety disorder, and I’m finally thinking I want to pursue a career in school counseling! I mentioned anxiety, because it tends to stop me from pursuing things, and I have questions about the program that I feel I need answered (or at least discussed) to help me move forward with the next step— applying.

I originally wanted to be a math teacher, but became afraid of student teaching in my undergrad, so I backed out and graduated with a psychology degree.

Ironically, I’ve been working with kids for 5 years, as a substitute teacher. Funny how that worked out for me! However, I have decided teaching isn’t for me, but I still want to work with kids. I definitely have the empathy and compassion for this role.

But.. my anxiety creeps in. I have a lot of fears that keep me from moving forward, but I’m really tired of being held back. (Note: I am going to start going to counseling myself for it!) I would love to ask some anxiety based questions, for anyone who has a free moment to provide answers or advice :).

Here’s what I’m afraid of:

1. The interview for a Master’s program. What type of questions do they ask? It’s been 5 years since I’ve been in college, so I know I forgot quite a bit from my psychology courses. How much do you recommend I refresh?

2. The field experience. I’m a bit nervous around professionals sometimes, because I second-guess myself and my abilities. So I’m worried that my abilities will be masked by my anxiety. What is field experience like? Working with a counselor.. was it uncomfortable?

3. The practice counseling sessions. What are these like? What if I goof or freeze out of anxiety? I’m so worried I’ll get so far only to fail.

That anxiety of uncertainty gets me every time!

To be honest.. I live in a comfortable bubble. I take the easy route to avoid what scares me. But it’s getting me nowhere. As I mentioned, I’m seeking help soon. But I really, really want to be a light for kiddos. I don’t want to watch my life go by without pursuing something meaningful.

Thank you so much :)