The wife and I were at the marriage counselor. "Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?" The marriage counselor asked glaring at me.

I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"

πŸ‘︎ 464
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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A husband and wife were at a marriage counselor. The wife complained, "he only talks about Star Wars! I've had it. I'm leaving him!" The counselor turned to the husband: "well?"

The husband looked at his wife and said, "divorce is strong with this one."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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They needn't have worried about talking to the marriage counselor about their intimacy issues

He was a consummate professional

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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Postpartum counselor said my wife and I are being "the most earnest parents we can possibly be."

I nodded and said, "You know what I mean, Vern?"

My wife didn't get it, but the counselor and I couldn't stop laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreauxTeeRhobat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2017
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I went over to my friend Micks house

I knocked on the door and his wife answered. She told me that Mick was in the barn so I went around back to find him.

I opened the door to the barn and to my complete horror, Mick was pole dancing in a leotard on a combine harvestor

Me: What the hell are you doing??

Mick: Well, you know how my wife and I have been having marriage problems. We went to go see a counselor and he said to put some spice back in the relationship i had to do something sexy to a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FearThePeople23
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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When I went into the barn I saw my father doing a strip tease act in front of our tractor

He explained that he went to a marriage counselor because mom didn't want to be intimate anymore. The counselor told him he should do something sexy to attract her.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABitOfALuddite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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They should call the North Korean Diplomat

The Korea Counselor

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hann1980
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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