Time to put on the costume
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Some of my pun-tastic Halloween costumes throughout the years: Reverse Cowgirl, Edgar Allan Ho, and Freudian Slip.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
My Halloween costume - Iβm a Buccaneer (buck an ear)
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︎ Oct 31 2020
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︎ Nov 03 2020
A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.
βIβm a turtle,β he says.
βOh... whoβs on your back?β
βThatβs Michelle,β he replies.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.
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︎ Oct 17 2020
So I went to a costume party dressed as a harp.
The host says, βWhat are you dressed as?β
I tell him, βIβm a harp.β
He says, βBut your costume is to small to be a harp.β
I was incredibly offended, and tell him, βAre you calling me a lyre?!β
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I just tried on my Spider-Man pants for a costume party
They look great but the fly keeps getting stuck
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break
I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Costume
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︎ May 28 2020
I wanted to buy the perfect Vincent Van Gogh costume for a Halloween party, but I couldn't find one.
They were all ear-regular.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
This joke may need a little work... I was going to throw a costume party this Halloween...
But, I think everyone would come as surgeons.
This is the part that may need work...
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Did you hear about the mobsters that always wore costumes?
They were a bunch of wise guise.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
From my 8 year old, on his path to becoming a great dad: "What did the designers of Darth Vader's costume model it on?"
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︎ Jun 10 2020
My wife tried to help me and washed my bear costume in hot water. It shrunk outa my size!
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Why didn't the ballerina wear three costumes?
Because that would be tutu many, obviously.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Costume party be like
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︎ May 29 2020
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume?
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Costume Designers Literally Only Want One Thing...
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︎ Jul 11 2020
2 years ago I went to Halloween as ThanOS
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I have a lot of extravagant outfits and costumes.
The singer of "Believe" asked me to give her some.
I told her, "But I don't want to, Cher"
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Just had this convo with a friend about her new costume
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︎ Jul 21 2019
I thought about dressing up as a plank of wood for halloween
I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Saw this puntastic costume at this years Magfest. Toadally awesome.
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︎ Jan 06 2020
I let my kids pick my Halloween costume this year. They chose a hot dog...
... this is going to be my wurst Halloween ever.
(True story, btw.)
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︎ Oct 25 2019
My Halloween costume this year
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy
I said donβt be Sicilly
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︎ Mar 19 2020
I got fired for wearing a bear costume to work
They violated my constitutional right to bear arms
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︎ Mar 31 2020
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︎ Nov 01 2019
A wolf goes costume shopping...
He found a lamb costume on the clearance rack. But it still wasn't sheep enough for him.
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︎ Mar 05 2020
A policeman accidentally arrested a judge who had dressed as a convict for a costume party. That cop learned never to book a judge by his cover.
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︎ Nov 08 2019
What do you call a Pig in a Cow costume?
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︎ Feb 22 2020
My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.
Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Tonight, I'm going trick-or-treating with the same costume I had from last year
All my neighbors are going to get a case of dΓ©jΓ BOO.
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︎ Oct 31 2019
My triple pun Halloween costume deserves the triple crown.
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︎ Oct 21 2019
That costume might come in handy some day
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︎ Sep 17 2018
At a costume party
Guy 1: What are you dressed as?
Guy 2: I'm a harp
Guy 1: That looks too small for a harp
Guy 2: You calling me a lyre?
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︎ Sep 02 2019
On my yacht, I make one of the crew dress in cute costume to stand for the pole supporting the yards, booms, and rigging...
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Found a costume for the next dress-up party, I think it will be a great converseATION starter.
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︎ Jun 16 2019
I need a new Halloween costume. Iβm thinking of going as an evil nun.
Do I really need another bad habit?
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Is my friend good enough for the big leagues (for puns)?
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︎ Dec 21 2019
I didnβt have much money to buy a new costume so I cut off 40% of my boobs.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
Costume party (from r/me_irl)
Host: what are you?
Me: I'm a harp.
Host: Your costumes too small to be a harp.
Me: are you calling me a lyre!?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
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