A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

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Cow Puns

From animal puns, we bring for you this funniest bundle of cow puns

How does a cow get to the mooooon? It flies through udder space!


What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!


What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.


What is a cows favorite colour? Maroooooooon.


Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.


What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer


What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter.


What do u call a really strong cow? Beefy.


What do you get when you walk under a cow? A pat on the head.


How does lady gaga like her steak? Raw raw raw raw raw.


Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it didnt want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him.


What are a cows favorite subjects in school? Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus


What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!


What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Udder-Catastrophe


Where do you find the most cows? Moo-York


What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever


Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!


Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!


Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? It wants to keep it’s Stockholm!


What is the definition of “moon”? The past tense of “moo”!


Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress? She was charged with rustling!


Why was the calf afraid? He was a cow-herd!


Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!


What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!


What’s the best way to make a bull sweat ? Put him in a tight jumper !


What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a


What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A shadow


What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.


What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!


What did the calf say to the silo? “Is my fodder in there?”


What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!


Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!


What’s a cow’s favorite moosi

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