Cling To Puns

Me: Yeah they must be very talonted.

My Bio professor was teaching us how to press plants for our field journals. He kicked off the lecture with:

"Well, let's get down to the pressing business, shall we?"

Out of a room of twenty people, one person laughed. That person was me.

He’s constantly clinging to The Rock.

You know how those clothes are from Star Trek? (without waiting for a response or to even take a breath) Because they're Cling-on's! (klingons). laughs at own joke and walks away

"Are they going to... cling on?"

Just happened. My wife and I were contemplating childbirth, and I acted out my part of it by clinging to her upper half and saying "I'm staying on this side - or maybe I'll look into the Eye of Vagauron (a poor wordplay on Eye of Sauron).

Wife: -silence-

Me: that was a stretch but I'm sticking to it

And that's when she bursts out laughing and I accidentally a pre-dad joke

It started when I was about five or six. I was climbing a tree that was too much for me and I slipped, clinging to a branch.

"Help!" "Do you need a hand?" "Yes!"

At which point he started clapping and laughing like he was the cleverest person who ever lived. That became his go-to joke if anyone needed a hand with anything.