"If we keep it together, we can stop this shit!"
Because they make a great asset.
Or should I spread them
Are you left behind?
That's a moray
It was very half-assed
It was pretty Loki
Assymmetrical
"I'm measuring your patience!"
It was a toot and car moon.
My wife said I did a half ass job applying sunscreen
I was so embarrassed. Boy, was my face read
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
Ass skin for a friend.
Look who’s grounded now, mom.
She liked taking a dip.
The doctor asks “What’s the problem?” The woman removes her her hand to reveal an area of green grass with a tree growing out of the middle, with some people in deck chairs picnicking next to a small lake. “Oh that’s nothing to worry about” said the doctor, “its just a beauty spot”.
What's cracking?
I looked back and her and naturally said: “...actually it’s Cab.”
“Quick. Hide the crack!”
A golden opportunity.
You're Ass-symmetrical!
All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”
The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”
About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek.
I ask him "What are you doing?"
"I'm measuring your patience."
I present to you my ass cheeks
And my dad says "HEY. You can't do that without a liquor license."
Together we can stop this shit
Between you and me, something stinks!
It was pretty Loki.
Together we can stop this shit
Or should I spread them apart?
Together, we can stop this shit.
Or should I spread them apart?
Together we can stop this shit!
If we stick together we can stop this crap!
"If we stick together we can stop this shit!"
... or should I spread them apart?
You cracked me up.
Nothing...it just cracked.
Would I be left behind?
We can stop this shit together
If we stick together we can put a stop to this shit
