Cattle Rancher Puns

Upon returning home his wife asked how he managed to get them back so quickly!

"Baby, I herd it through the grapevine".

The stakes were too high.

All he had to do was round them up.

Because he raises the steaks.

He wanted to raise the steaks.

Because they're always raising the steaks.

I'm raising the steaks!

When he was done he had 100.

Ranchers really should start installing CATTLE-itic converters.

As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy “Hello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says “Don’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. “Thank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying “I’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”

I hear a cattle rancher came in and really raised the steaks.