I am thinking of pursuing a career in crowd estimation.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Guys, I just got a new career offer!

It’s at the spice factory, which is great. The best part about it is that it’s a seasonal job. Heh. Heh.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MTBCardBear4211
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
i have just been swooned by a man only to discover he’s a career criminal

i guess you could say i felon love

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/____okay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.

There's lots of prose and cons.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Since his political career is almost over the US vice president is starting his own soda company.

It's called Pence-a-cola.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bozo_dubbed_over
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the seafood-themed jazz musician's career tank?

Because he had no sole

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRage469
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My career counsellor keeps encouraging me to drop out.

Thanks to her, I’m graduating from Sky diving school.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: I have to choose between her and my career as a news reporter.

I have some breaking news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently pursued my dream career of becoming a very successful plagiarizer.

I tried, but I didn't make it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.

It was something I could always see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskeyBadger_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the obstetrician pursue a career in standup?

Because he was so good at deliveries

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rayzon1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children

It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Annie Oakley's career was so brief?

Because she was a shooting star.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hairpeas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...

...it's always been holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
His career was washed away
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I once tried to start a comedy career by telling jokes about my days as a pilot.

Sadly, I could never get my jokes to land, and just kept crashing and burning on stage.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.

Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me that he is pursuing dentistry as a career

I told him, "But son, that career path will take you years!"

"First you have to take dentist 1, then dentist 2, all before you get to dentist 3!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaLAWndi
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...

He was a one-hint wonder!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.

I haven’t heard from him since.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
[At the therapist] Hulk Hogan: I struggled through a lot of mental issues during my career.

Therapist: So you could say.. you had to wrestle mania?

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone has been asking me about my plan to continue my career as a juggler when the quarantine ends, but I’m not sure yet...

everything is still up in the air.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lankyjay16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When Gordon Sumner left the police to start a solo career

It became a Sting operation

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bios_001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the highest point in a geologist’s career?

When they hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pakigod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A vampire was giving a presentation at a career fair.

The vampire, being hundreds of years old, had decided to conduct an experiment to see which career path was the most rewarding. He had every degree and certification you could imagine, but he settled on a surprising choice: cleaning mirrors.

When questioned, he said, "There's something about cleaning a mirror that just speaks to me. Not only can you see your progress as you go, I just know I'm helping someone see their true selves, for better or worse. I'm as surprised as you are, it's not a job I could ever see myself doing."

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently retired from my job as a lumberjack. Over my career I cut down 6, 324 trees...

I kept a log.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ickyfeet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My parents strongly discouraged me to pursue a career in archaeology

They said there is no future in it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tim6023
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said that I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.

I said, β€œOh yeah? Just you wait.”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.

That means he would like to continue with it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vEnoM_420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly 82,546 trees. /r/Jokes/comments/ey3uo3/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmh4321
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...

Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oove22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I have had a very stop-start career...

Much like any other bus driver.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snausagerolly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend graduated with a degree in geometry was well prepared for his career as a farmer...

He had bought his protractor in school.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the spider pursuing a career in IT?

He’s a natural web developer

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Changed careers to a watch repairman...

now I work around the clock. πŸ˜‹

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joblessidiot420
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy whose entire career was based around rating the best ceilings for different houses. Ever day he researched the available options and what was best and worst about them.

He was a ceiling fan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the Rock's career is suffering?

I guess it's really going down the Dwayne.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pedahzur
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Working on his muhissssic career
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.

I have some breaking news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 594
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.

I have some breaking news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phoqkhan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

πŸ‘︎ 548
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a TV journalist.

I have some breaking news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that I had to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter.

I have got some news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 870
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.

I have some breaking news for her.

πŸ‘︎ 181
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog would like to hit pause on his music career.

That means he would like to keep going with it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vEnoM_420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.

I said, β€œOh yeah? Just you wait.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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