I went to have a statue made and the sculptor asked me if I wanted it to be iron or bronze.

I told him either ore.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mkhwn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2023
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the guy who almost won the bronze medal in the Olympics?

Hey was very forthcoming

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2022
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins.

Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?

The Sausages.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a tapeworm have in common with the Eiffel Tower?

They’re both Paris sites

πŸ‘︎ 845
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2022
🚨︎ report
Out of all the inventions of the Bronze Age...

The shovel has to be the most groundbreaking of all

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harvie_B134
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2022
🚨︎ report
I once won silver for curling and bronze for the Bob

...yet hairdresser of year still eludes me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Bronze cat taps
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tehwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who won the award?

They had to hand it to him.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linguist96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2022
🚨︎ report
I was in the Olympics for tanning...

I got bronze..

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2022
🚨︎ report
I dated a girl

She was from the Bronze age

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2022
🚨︎ report
Trying to find motivation and engage with research of what motivated people in the post-Bronze Age to engage in building double-storey dwellings...

Irony on two many levels.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
why don't they have competitive Sun Tanning in the Olympics?

Because 1st place only gets Bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sethsta
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2022
🚨︎ report
I just screamed at a well-bronzed man at the beach.

Sorry for going off on a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/socool111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
🚨︎ report
When did people first start using the sun to tan themselves?

During the bronze age.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kouroshkeshavarz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2022
🚨︎ report
First bad joke

I took part in the sun tanning Olympics

But I only got bronze

give me downvotes

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Iambatatarsenal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2022
🚨︎ report
How have the Olympics changed through time?

… Bronze turns Silver as it is gettinGold.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arc-ion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2022
🚨︎ report
Why do cats bury their poop?

Because if they bronzed it and put it on a shelf, it would be a catastrophe!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mildewey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2022
🚨︎ report
I’m participating in the kleptomania Olympics this year.

I plan to take home the gold, the silver and the bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships.

I took gold, silver, and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zu-den-sternen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
If self-deprecation was an Olympic Sport

I'd probably just about scrape bronze

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/falseoptimism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did french tanning cream do to a famous basketball player?

It LeBronzed James

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poogart
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm not saying China was doping during the Summer Olympics

But when they take the gold, silver, and bronze it raises a lot of red flags.

~credit to Steve, a real person.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebignate08
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a basketball player who's been in the sun for too long?

LeBronze James.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my girlfriend during the Olympics

After watching the luge event where Erin Hamlin won bronze for America

Host: it was a big night for luger Erin Hamlin winning the first medal ever for America

Me: that's not nice calling her a luger for coming in 3rd place

Girlfriend: facepalm

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brancky3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Why isn't suntanning an olympic sport?

You can only get bronze!

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ole_gizzard_neck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...

I took gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Cause you can only get bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 601
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I entered a kleptomania competition.

I got gold, silver and bronze.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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