What's a fish say when it hits a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skib900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night

The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruebensrun1724
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Me: My wife injured herself lifting a brick reservoir above her head three days ago.

Coworker: How is she today?

Me: She's still holding up well.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/haymalb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We should raise the Lego bricks and help them to a normal Level of Respect!

They have been stepped on for far too long.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_German_Memer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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There are 503 bricks....

There are 503 bricks on a plane, and one falls off, how many bricks remain?

502

This is a change joke and I made an animation about it. https://youtu.be/9Eaj94Z1rNc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markom3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
just a nether brick in the wall
πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkblade_e
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"

It didn't help, but I knew he meant well

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarryGoLocky
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Real_Normal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someone’s home.

Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do I have if I have 8 red LEGO bricks in one hand and 16 blue LEGO bricks in the other hand?

Really big hands.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bird say when it found a brand new brick wall?

"Simply impeccable."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup-mr-stark
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If a red house is made of red bricks and a blue house is made of blue bricks, then what is a green house made of?

Glass

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kortbug2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't people, who constantly step on Plastic toy brick, just

LEGO of the pain?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers

In America you can buy a square foot of bricks for around $8.50. There are 7 bricks in a square foot, meaning you are buying each brick for about a $1.21. Today one dollar is 0.75 pounds, so $1.21 is about 0.92 pounds, meaning for a full pound you can buy 1.087 bricks for about a pound. Each brick weighs 5 pounds, which means 1.087 bricks weighs 5.435 pounds. Now on the other hand you many buy 48 feathers for one dollar in America , considering that one dollar is 0.75 ponds, you could buy 64 feathers. with one pound. Each feather weighs around 0.0003 ounces, which multiplied by 64 is 0.0192 ounces , which is 0.0012 pounds. 5.435> 0.0012. There you have it a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound if feathers .

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.

They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigFootV519
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't judge a brick by its color
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blazinfastjohny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.

Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXJustaGuy420Xx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland

The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.

I don’t know what to make of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Bricks are the happiest construction materials.

They're always getting laid.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking by some folks, that didn't seem to get how lopsided the brick wall they were making was...

So I leveled with them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
500 bricks on an airplane and one falls off. How many are left?

((To be played back and forth with a friend as questions and answers))

[499.]

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Put elephant in. 3. Close door.]

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Put giraffe in. 4. Close door.]

All the animals attend a birthday party for the king of the jungle, except one. Who didn’t attend? [The giraffe. He’s still in the refrigerator.]

A girl swims across an alligator infested river, but safely makes it to the other side. How was that possible? [All the alligators were at the birthday party.]

The girls still dies though, how come? [The one brick from the airplane fell on her head.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaShMa_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A Dutch pun
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittleKidLover10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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When in college, I made a bookcase out of bricks and boards, which eventually fell to pieces...

It had a short shelf life!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Ben Folds: β€œShe’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippomaster6000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it hit a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers?

The feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he bumped into a brick wall?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forkspoooon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsrigdic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

Feathers, because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zerogivin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LocalSalesRep
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he swam into a brick wall?

"DAM!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeeCeeRoe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SjansenKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired from my job as a brick layer...

Apparently my work wasn't good qWALLity

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J24cihpsd
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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