It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading
Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
I took a bath
And I was promptly removed from the hardware store premises.
Where do French criminals take baths?
I gave the dog a bath today and the wife noticed how soft she was and asked “Did you condition her?”
So I said “yeah, I rang a bell and then fed her”
What sound does a bath bomb make?
What is the Latin word for "one-piece bathing suit"?
My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath
My wife came home from work stressed out from her day. I asked her how I could help, she asked me to draw her a bath.
I showed her the drawing I made, she replied “that wasn’t really what I had pictured...”
Dialysis is a blood bath.
There were 2 monkeys sitting in the bath...
One says to the other: 'oooooo eeeeee oooooo aaaaa'
The other says: 'put the cold tap on then!'
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
I gave the cat a bath last week..
I still can't taste anything
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!
Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(
[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]
I was alone in the bath
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
How does the moon take a bath?
What's the difference between a bath tub and an alligator?
(Dad waits for the common response: "I don't know, what?")
Then I'd advice you to never take a bath.
I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.
But it's too late....she sank.
What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?
How did the Italian wife tell her husband he needed a bath?
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A nun is having a bath when she hears a knock of the door....
She says "who is it?"
"It's the blind man" comes the response.
Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".
In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"
My wife asked me to give the cat a bath today while she was at work
My tongue is soo sore right now.
Archimedes took a bath and then said "Eureka!"
When I smell myself, I say "You reek-a!" and then take a bath.
Why did J. S. Bach always wear really skimpy bathing suits?
He loved to feel the air on the G string.
Two monkeys are sat in the bath. One says "oooh oooh aah aah"
The other says "well put some more cold in then"
The doctor insisted I take a milk bath, so I asked her if it need to be pasteurized...
She said no, just above the knees.
I said to my wife “I hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tight”
She said “then wear your own one then”
Two monkeys in a bath one said ohh ohh ahh ahh and the other one said
Ok ok I will put some cold in then
Had a really tough day today. I figured you would appreciate that my wife suggested I peruse r/dad jokes while she drew me a relaxing bath.
I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
My daughter asked me if I can make her a bath
I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?
A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..
Osama Bin Laden never took showers..
Because he just loved using bath bombs too much..
I read you can buy half a pillowcase down at Bed Bath and Beyond!
Turns out it was a total sham
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?
They don’t want to get the sheets!
A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.
he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
What do you call a paralyzed zoo keeper's bathing suit?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath ?
What do you call james bond taking a bath?
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
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