I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.
So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.
Maybe a No More Tears version called Daredevil? I don’t know. A sleeping mask called the Dark Night? Deadpoop toilet paper? I’m drowning here, man.
but I still think they're cool.
They're a hot topic in our house.
I need plant based puns so I can win a war of puns
Thanksgiving dinner: Doing it Yang-Ham Style!
A friend of mine started a server recently and we're trying to brainstorm ideas for names for our server. Puns are always the right way to go. As long as it's not taken already and the .com or .org is available, anything is fair game! Thanks in advance. :)
... but I think i've got a Handel on it now...
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
Can you guys come up with toilet-based puns for musicians/band names? Like Poo Fighters, Turdy Seconds from Mars, sTool, Pee Diddy, Our Lady Piss, Fart Minor, Michael Pooplé. That's all I have for now :D
So there is this super amazing girl, and she loves two things. Puns and empanadas. I want to ask her to prom while gifting her with many beef empanadas, but I really want to find a pun to use on her as I present the tray of food. Do you guys have any empanada based puns?
My first born is due soon and so to prepare it for life with its father I wanted the first words it hears from me to be a pun. We don't know the sex yet so I need to have a back up plan.
Currently is if is male I am thinking of "It's aboy-t time you showed up". I am fairly happy with this but I am also open to suggestions. I still need either a genderless pun or girl based pun though.
So I had to pack up a bowl at work today and while i was doing so i annoyed my coworkers with every bowl based pun i could think of
"Hey guys, if we put doritos in here would they have a BOWLder flavor"
"If i lost all my hair would I have gone BOWLD"
"we could fill this with rocks and call this a BOWLder"
"I really like the music of David BOWLie"
"we can slide this at some pins and call it BOWLing"
"what if we were sending this back to BOWLing green Kentucky"
"we can fill it with air and call it a BOWLoon"
"I'm just trying to fit in guys, all i wanna do is BOWLong"
"Of course i think you're telling the truth, i guess you can say I BOWLieve you"
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
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How dense the population is.
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How dense the population is.
2:
I will now only eat animals that are herbivores.
Could someone say that we're shooting the messenger?
They store it in dad-a-base.
It had lots of diversity
Elijah Wood
Because working for a fortnight would make everyone too weak.
They're going with either impeachment or impairment.
Lettuce Spray.
A flat major
That's just sixist.
They call them Bloomers!
"I have no son"
"Thanks for supporting me"
I'm sure this has been done but it got a chuckle out of me
Edit wow, I wasn't expecting an award. Thank you kind stranger!
From what I heard they’re a bit tacky.
Not on my watch!
In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.
The steaks have never been higher...
Her plans have been foiled.
I think it'll be called The Trying Times.
...and you know what, the germinate!
this is for something important I just need a name for a plant who's also a samurai. Any pun name will be appreciated
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
- How dense the population is
- How dense the population is
